The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Varric]

Varric's eyes harden. "Lie," he murmurs. "Worse than your last even. Working off your talk of 'one more thing wrong' and the timing of all this... I'd say you did some eavesdropping? Probably missed all the context... the part in the beginning where Seeker was so thrilled you opened up to her, or the part were she was worried that she's not good enough to be teaching someone social skills? Certainly missed the part where I pointed out that of the three of us, you have by far the mildest case. And if I've never needed professional help with it, you sure don't. If you even have whatever it is and aren't just a bit undersocialized."

[Marian Hawke]

She shakes her head. Heard that -- and isn't he lying too? (ass) She was pleased she'd helped me, not that I'd opened up (doesn't know what to do with emotions or affection or messiness) (doesn't know what to do with me) Varric doesn't think anyone needs help, not even Seeker (Master thinks I need help, professional help [torture])

"I'm not lying," she protests. 

[Varric]

Oh for the love of- "Really? Then let's try that promise out. What's bothering you? Put it to words."

[Marian Hawke]

"I-- I just told you," she says, voice faltering. Stupid, getting caught (now you have to come up with something else so he thinks he's won) think, what can I give him (don't think about any of it, keep it together) Beth, mention Beth, he knows about her already. "Finding that out, on top of... Beth's doing better, but it's hard, seeing her hurt, and..." 

[Varric]

"Good, that's good. I'm glad you're worried about your sister. She's over the moon at having you back, knowing you didn't cast her off. I imagine you can sympathize." Lying with the truth... better, I suppose (hmmph). "How have you been handling those emotions? That hurt? and I don't mean an evaluation- that's clearly 'not that well'- I mean a process."

[Marian Hawke]

"Same as always." Put it away, pick your head up, keep moving. (don't let anyone see, they'll use it against you) (don't think about it, you'll come undone) (don't stop moving, you'll succumb to the darkness)

[Varric]

Varric waits a few seconds, then frowns at her. "Which is... what? Ignore and pray it doesn't ambush you up- and off- a tower?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Put it aside. Keep moving," she adds, shaking her head a little. (stop it, stop saying that, let it alone, don't make me think about it) It's not ignoring, exactly, just... "It goes away eventually."

[Varric]

"Really?" Varric scoffs. "What's the first hurt then? The oldest one?"

[Marian Hawke]

"I--" The first one? The oldest hurt? ('Bastard' 'not my daughter' 'My oldest, Carol') No, don't think about it, that's the trap ('it's best for everyone if you're not here, understand?') Keep your head up, focus, move past it. "I don't remember, it's in the past," she lies. "I'm over it, whatever it was."

[Varric]

"Alright, then I'll ask about the oldest I know of- you being set aside by your relatives, back before they sent you away. Good decade and some ago." He smiles ruthlessly at her. "Over that yet?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Yes," she says, knowing it's a lie. I should be over it, I know better than to react to it, that's the same thing right?

[Varric]

Varric just stares at her flatly.

[Marian Hawke]

"Will you let go of me?" she asks quietly, something small and broken in her voice. You can't talk your way out of this (should try harder) he knows better by now (this is what you get for opening up)

[Varric]

Varric studies her for a long, hard moment, then nods. Letting go, he steps back, keeping himself between her and the edge. "This isn't a trap, Marian. I want to help you. I want you to get better and... and realize all that glorious potential I can see in you. "