The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene blanches. "This one would request not repeating that action. This one dislikes nightmares."

[Marian Hawke]

"...I said under a truthing I'd murder all of them," admits Marian. "I probably need to get a handle on that."

[Varric]

"In fairness, there's a big difference from saying a thing- even if you mean it- and doing a thing." Varric shifts to study the two scholars. "Have you killed yet? A mortal, not just some rats or whatnot."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian shakes her head. "I've watched, but I wasn't... I'm not good at combat."

[Varric]

"It's not the same. There's... there's a weight to it, that just isn't there with beasts. Even magical ones, even wondrous ones." Varric shakes his head. "Sorry, off topic. Yes, you do need to do something about your temper. Might just be linked with making you ignore all the slights and blows. Being helpless is a sure recipe for pissing me off and we're not that dissimilar in personality really."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian's eyes go distant, hard. "I've always been helpless. It's nothing new," she says, in a flat tone.

[Helene Dakesh]

"Perhaps that is the issue?" says Helene.

[Marian Hawke]

Marian shakes her head, blinking a bit. "I keep thinking... I keep thinking this will all go away. You'll get tired of me and i'll be... I always expected to end up like Merrill."

[Varric]

Might be hypocritical but swallow the insult there (doesn't mean it anyway). "Given your childhood, I can't say that those fears are unreasonable. You should be able to trust your parents more than anyone. But your mother- and uncle- have carelessly, almost absently, done more harm to you than most people get from their worst foe."

[Marian Hawke]

"My mother, my stepfather, my uncle, Jadan... Even the twins, just by virtue of not being able to go against Mother. The first seven years of my life, everything I knew was telling me I wasn't a person. I was just... garbage. An accident Mother was kind enough not to drown like an unwanted kitten. I went to Draslina and saw little to change my mind. Not until Helene picked me. And Merrill... she has those big dark eyes, just like Ariel. It hurts, to think of her hurting the way I've always hurt."

[Varric]

Varric rubs his chin, thinking. "I won't bother arguing about the twins- you know they were too young, it's just hard to get past the hurt of it. Your mother and the other adults? Cold-hearted assholes at the best, the lot of them." He sighs a little. "Daisy does have something to her. An innocence, despite everything done to her. Makes it hard not to care. Can't fathom how that lot over there did what they did to her." He glances to the other side of the camp where Carol is sitting silently near the cart, nearby if Merrill wakes.

[Marian Hawke]

"You get used to it, I think. You tell yourself someone's not a person long enough, you stop being able to see it different. Even now, talking about this, I still.. part of me says, I deserve to be treated that way even if she doesn't."

[Varric]

Varric winces, looking down at his hands. Like how you can convince yourself that- "No, I get it. Mortals adapt. It's what makes us different than outsiders and gods. We can change, for good or ill. Mould ourselves into new shapes- or be shoved into a new pattern."

[Helene Dakesh]

"Accept the pattern that you are defective, that you are broken," says Helene quietly. "And then it becomes easy to give up. Start thinking about death. A constant pull in the back of your mind: this could be over, this life could be done with, if you just give up completely."

[Marian Hawke]

"Towers," says Marian softly. "And all it takes is one more damn thing to just.."