The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Varric]

That's Seeks in a nutshell. Earnst, honest, and a touch clumsy and blunt. "Getting better at it though. Both of you." His mouth twists a little. "Hopefully I'm doing alright with it. Not... really used to having friends this... personal."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian lifts her head a little. "What ,really?"

[Varric]

Varric returns his gaze to his hands. "Not... not for a few years," he says slowly. "I was never... I was great at being friendly, great at making people think well of me. But real, deep friendship?" He shrugs a little. Just the once really (and that ended so well).

[Marian Hawke]

"I would never have guessed," says Marian, putting her head back down. "You seem so..." But he just said, he's good with people. 

She pauses, then, frowning a little. "I guess I'm just not clear on the difference. I never had fake friends either."

[Helene Dakesh]

"It is very clear, this one has found, when someone truly cares. When they... listen to what you have to say, seek it out. When they desire your company, not simply tolerate it. When they give you their full attention. When they are affected by things that affect you. This is true friendship." Helene looks out at the fire, not at all at Varric.

[Varric]

Varric grunts. "Yeah, and there's... well, there's a difference in adversity. Not danger or hardship, necessarily. Just... there's a big difference in how much effort a bar chum or a friendly peer will go to on your behalf, just because, than a real friend. From... really awkward talks about... intimate things to stabbing people to making a point of ensuring someone gets the best charred bits when we have roast."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian closes her eyes briefly. "Or flying up the outside of the wall invisibly," she groans. "I um. I'm really sorry about all that. I'm sure I said that already but..."

[Helene Dakesh]

"You had not," says Helene. "This one is glad to hear regret is present."

[Varric]

"Or pushing herself- or nemself- to talk about emotions when emotions are... messy and uncomfortable." He laughs softly. "We are a real set, aren't we?"

[Helene Dakesh]

"Yes," says Helene. "This one has found this one has developed messy, complicated feelings of late. This one finds this situation uncomfortable. This one... Has never planned for this contingency. This one did not realize what this one was missing until it was forced into this one's life."

[Varric]

Varric curses mentally for a solid twenty seconds. "...about... that," he says tersely. "I... Sorry, ignore me."

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene glances away, as far away from Varric as ne can manage -- the entirely opposite direction. "This one understands. This one has noticed that... This one understands. This one has the form of a child. This one never, ever, considered, not even for a moment, that Varric would return the sort of affections this one has developed. This one cannot have that due to this one's burden. This is known, and acceptable. This one detests said feelings for that reason. There is no need to be embarrassed or guilty for not returning said feelings."

[Varric]

Gods. Gods. Gods. I can't.... How can I... What do I say to... I can't just- just not say- I have to... "Seek- Helene. I... Bright Gods, this is..." He scoffs at himself, head shaking. "I sounds like a trite line from a terrible play, but... it's not you, it's me.  I just..." His hand starts to tap on his thigh rapidly, though it never makes a sound. "I don't... get that sort of thing. Ever."

[Helene Dakesh]

There's a long, awkward silence. Then, finally, Helene says, "Varric is... asexual?" 

[Varric]

Varric shrugs, the gesture sharp and pained. "What about you Seeks? Realized that I made an assumption there- are you planning to head back to Draslina after this Ja-Ja business is done with?" Smooth topic change there...