The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Marian Hawke]

"...Not really?" she offers. "I suppose when I was very small... I used to be afraid of the dark."

[Haliel Lightsong]

What's scary about the dark? the aasimar paladin wonders briefly. "And just like how you've learned that the dark can be dangerous but isn't actually scary, so you can learn that what happened to you was painful but not something you have to flinch around."

[Marian Hawke]

"How's that?" 

[Haliel Lightsong]

"It's... it's like getting a callus. Or strengthening a muscle," Lightsong offers. "Or maybe working out a toxin is a better... sorry, I'm not very good at this am I?"

[Marian Hawke]

"So what, if I dwell on it endlessly I'll get numb to it?"

[Haliel Lightsong]

"Not endlessly, no! Just... face it in full, come to accept that it happened. Not just ignore it but stare it down and acknowledge that while it hurt, it did not diminish you."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian glances away. "Not hard, that. I'm not much to begin with. It'd take a lot to diminish me."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"Marian, stop it. You are a wonderful person. You are kind and caring, loyal and loving. Brilliant, determined, friendly and generous. You are very much... much."

[Marian Hawke]

She flushes, unable to look at Lightsong. "I'm... not, though? I'm... conniving, and manipulative. I lie a lot, all the time. I'm smart, yeah, that's fair, but..."

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel gives Marian a soft, almost pitying look. "I know you're clever. And I don't doubt you sometimes pick your words and actions carefully. But that's not really conniving. Not in the way you mean it. When you offered to share your dinner with me, when we first met... were you hoping to get me to have sex with you? Or were you just... lonely?"

[Marian Hawke]

She hesitates. "I... I followed your mother because I wanted to have sex with her. I invited you back because I was lonely and you looked lonely too."

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel nods, not phased by her reply. She had missed the implications at the time but... "See? You want pleasure and happiness, yes, but you don't want it just for you. You saw I was lonely too and hoped we could help each other. That we could be happier together than apart."

[Marian Hawke]

She takes a deep breath, swallowing before she lets it out. "I only talked about this once. When I did, I mentioned... well, I mentioned how I'd... I'd always figured I'd be on my own at some point. When I got too old for second chances. How I'd wanted to... get used to it, I guess."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"I... I hope you realize that you don't have to follow that path by now? That you don't have to be alone, unless you want to? You certainly deserve love and companionship."

[Marian Hawke]

She wrinkles her nose. "Deserve is a loaded word, but... yes. I do realize that... I need to start trusting people more. Hence this talk."