The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Bethany]

"...except when it didn't. I... I know you disagree but I still can't be- I still think J-Jadan was bad for you. Maybe good short-term but bad long-term. So I can't regret getting you away from him but I wish I hadn't hurt you doing it. I wish I had come up with a better way. I am sorry that I... did that to you." And I also wish I hadn't been r-r- She shudders, pushing that thought away for now. Focus on Car. That's what's important right now.

[Carver Amell]

Car shivers, glancing away. "I just don't understand what..." he whispers, but cuts himself off. "Can you at least accept that I love him?"

[Bethany]

"...yes," Beth says with a sigh. "I don't understand why but I don't doubt that you love him." At least, you love who you think he is. I can't see that person but you can. "I... I can even admit that you were happy, when you were with him. Most of the time."

[Carver Amell]

"He made me..."

Car's whisper dies off; he closes his eyes, swallowing, then opens them, more determined, more defiant. "He made me feel like a lady. I didn't mind, so much, when I was with him. He loved me. He cherished me, he put my own pleasure before his. He wanted me to be happy, to feel good. For him, I thought I could... could be a lady."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"That... makes some sense," Lightsong comments softly. "If he was... courting you, he would be treating you in such a way as to highlight the more... pleasant facets of femininity, at least to most."

[Carver Amell]

"If I can do it, shouldn't I?" he whispers. "It'd be easier for everyone."

[Bethany]

"Given- given where you were heading... it really wouldn't be easier," Beth says, voice tight. "You- you couldn't... go on like that. Not for much longer. You even admitted that much to me." Why do you think I was so desperate to figure out a way of fixing anything if not the real thing that was wrong? Gods, I could kick myself for not seeing this earlier.

[Carver Amell]

"I should have tried harder," he insists. "I should have... because you're right, I wasn't being fair to you. I shouldn't have given up like I did." 

Why did I give up like that? When I had hope for the future in my hands?

[Merrill]

"Fair d-doesn't matter m-much, when everything h-hurts," Merrill whispers, hands clasped tightly in front of her. 

[Bethany]

"You didn't- you didn't entirely give up. I mean... you were still trying."

[Carver Amell]

He shakes his head. "M-mostly. I.. and th-then the p-poison."

It's hard to get the words out; even touching on the subject is enough to bring back the flood of emotions that coursed through Carol's body when he walked in on the pair, enough to sour his stomach and add a quiver to his voice. But he forces them out anyway.

[Merrill]

Merrill slips between Lightsong and Shiori so she can mutely take Carol's hand.

[Bethany]

Bethany pales, her own body reacting with extreme distress to the reminder. "I-" She turns away, bending forward slightly with a hand on her stomach.

[Carver Amell]

Carol looks away, taking Merrill's hand. Stupid.

[Bethany]

Haliel moves towards Beth, who waves her off. "S-sorry. I just- It hits me at weird times. Talking about you. Poison." The human takes a slow breath. "Sorry. I never, ever, wanted to.... hurt you. I'm sorry I did."