The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[NPCs]

"He did want you. Gods, he was terrified when he came to me, told me that some fling came back to tell him she was knocked up. Talked- babbled and raved really- for almost two hours before I finally slapped him, poured three fingers of whisky in him and finally got him to explain," Roland says with a wistful grin. "He was so clueless, so overwhelmed. Fuck, he was younger than Beth and Carver are now for an elf. But he never once, not once, said a word about denying you were his or getting the bitch to shed you."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian turns her gaze outward again, eyes dipping toward the leaves below her, the unseen ground. "She used to say she wished she had. That if my good-for-nothing father hadn't died and left her maybe I'd be worth keeping around, but I was just a reminder she didn't want. They sent me away before I was ten, but even then I wasn't... I wasn't allowed to be a sister to the twins. It's easy for Beth -- she can just say she wants me and expect me to make that happen, the way the help always made anything she wanted happen. She's never had to fight for anything. So either I make this work or it won't work."

[NPCs]

Roland gives her a scathing look. "Are you serious? Never had to fight for anything? Girl spent the last five plus years fighting to keep her brother from killing himself. Might never had to struggle to get a meal in her belly or roof over her head but that's a hell of at thing for a young girl. Not saying she shouldn't have to help with things or anything but give her some credit."

[Marian Hawke]

"It's not the same," she says, sighing. "I don't know. I wasn't there. I wasn't allowed to be. But she acts so fucking... She just demands that I concede everything, that she be allowed to be as neurotic as she likes but I have to swallow everything back."

[NPCs]

Yeah, you're sisters alright. Suspect Beth would be saying the same damn thing if she were the one sitting on that branch. "She can be right... imperious I think is the best word for it. Both of you are as stubborn as a bronto faced with a muddy hill. Neither of you will admit the other has a single right point, too focused on how the other won't admit you have a right point or two yourself."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian sighs then, rubbing at her temple. "Of course she has a point. She's right. When you get right down to it, she's worth more than I am. Why do you think I fight so hard? She deserves better. I don't. If I give up, that'll be it. Nothing good left."

[NPCs]

Roland stares at her for a long moment. "The hell is wrong with you?" he asks bluntly. "Youre saying that you... Okay, run this by me. You don't think she can make you being family work because she's too pampered and whatnot. But also that she's worth more than you because... Your mother is a shrewish bitch that blames you for her fucking a kid and getting knocked up. Seems more indicative of her worth than yours in my book. So... all that together means that it's up to you to... what? Bleed and die for the main branch of the family like some shitty gnomish nobility saga? I truly believe you have your reasons for thinking all that makes sense but I can't see it clear."

[Marian Hawke]

"There's two kinds of people in this world," she says, quietly. "The kind the gods smile on, and the kinds that are cursed. Astea smiles on Beth. I only get the scraps I fight for myself. And I'm so damn tired."

[NPCs]

"Girl, you ever think maybe you might not need to fight so damn hard if you asked for some help?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Nobody helps me. They lecture and scold and have a million opinions on what I'm doing wrong but at the end of the day, everyone ends up against me. Nobody cares what I want for myself."

[NPCs]

"Not once?" Roland asks mildly. "Damn shame to hear that. Tell you what- what's something you want? Just one thing, one of those... short to midterm goals sort of things?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Isabela."

[NPCs]

"What about her? Not sure what to do with just a name as a goal," Roland admits. Gonna be honest, that sounds like you want to own her or something, which is not the best look. Need to work on your lines.

[Marian Hawke]

"If there's any chance she'll be with me, any at all-- last night was amazing. Wonderful. I want-- I want more of that. But I can't have it because she's leaving town and I'm not allowed to leave. So I can't want things that aren't here in front of me. Otherwise Beth will scream at me and Haliel will cry."

[NPCs]

"Alright... was it- Is it Isabela you want more of or just a lover? Sorry, not just a lover. A compatible one for you." Gods. Was I ever that young? Surely so but... "Because from the sound of it, Isabela wasn't looking for anything longer than a fling. I can try and help you woo her but if she just isn't up for it... nothing to be done. But if you want a relationship, a sexual one, I can try and help you find someone to your liking that wants you back."