The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Varric]

Varric studies her for a moment, silent. "Your sister crept down about fifteen minutes ago, looking for you with a guilty expression," he offers, evidently having been told by Lightsong's last visit about ten minutes ago. "Talking to Seeks at the moment- Shiny said she was asking a ton of questions about you, about what you did and such. Seems like she's realizing, really realizing, how little she knows about the you of now." Poor Helene... bit weird to be on the other side of that, I imagine. And about a topic ne doesn't know as well as ne probably should.

[Marian Hawke]

She swallows. "I... I'm not sure I can... I'm not sure I'm going to stick around much longer. Not like-- I mean, striking out on my own, not..."

[Varric]

Something flickers in the dwarf's eyes, there and gone in a flash. "Oh?" he asks in the most neutral tone imaginable.

[Marian Hawke]

She looks away. "This isn't working. It's best for everyone if I just bow out."

[Varric]

Varric takes a slow breath, then lets it out. "You still can't bring yourself to trust, can you?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Why should I?" she asks, bitterly. 

[Varric]

Varric's face hardens a bit. "Name one time, one time, that Lightsong or I have betrayed you? Used you unfairly for our own gain without thought for you?"

[Marian Hawke]

She opens her mouth to argue, but struggles to come up with words. Finally, she says, "it's only a matter of time. I don't know why you keep paying attention to me since I'm a continual disappointment to both of you."

[Varric]

"Damnit Marian! Stop judging all of us by a dead man's deeds!"

[Marian Hawke]

She flinches then, looking down. There's the anger I expected, she tries to tell herself, but she knows better -- she's provoked this fresh, it's nothing to do with last night. "I am," she says softly. "I hear it in Haliel's voice, see it in your eyes."

[Varric]

"What about when I'm grinning at you like a fool because you pull some trick or figure out the riddle to a test that would stump someone that's been studying alchemy for ten times as long as you? What's the look in Seeks' eyes when you rattle off some bit of trivia about their research just off the cuff? The relief in Beth's voice, on Carver's face, when you called him your brother? Everyone disappoints people from time to time- that doesn't mean we aren't fucking proud of you dammit."

[Marian Hawke]

She takes a deep breath, then another. "I... I'm not as... I'm not as good as you seem to think," she whispers. "And... look, it's best if I go. I'm causing too much trouble to stay."

[Varric]

"Marian... if... are Helene and I stupid?" he demands.

[Marian Hawke]

She's silent, looking at her toes. Just get it over with.

[Varric]

"Are. Helene. And I. Stupid?"