The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Carver Amell]

"Um," he says, wilting. "M-maybe?"

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel sighs softly, the sound not judgemental at all... but so sadly disappointed, it's worse than telling Hunter that no, he's not supposed to sleep on the bed. "Very well Carver. But you have to promise to keep trying to stop hurting yourself. My door is always open if you need support, okay?" A moment later and a pulse of everlasting hope, endless forgiveness and warm ocean of love pour through him.

[Carver Amell]

He can't help it; he breaks down in sobs, right there over the soapy water. "s-s-sorry," he mutters. "I-- I-- I c-can't h-help it..."

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel is right there, holding him close against her. She's actually an inch or two taller than him, the only one in the party able to claim such (truthfully), so she can cradle him rather easily against her. "Shhhh," she whispers, rubbing his back. "It's okay, I have you." Just the same as Beth... both of them are so lonely, so hungry for love. Just like Marian too, come to think of it, but they all resist accepting it in a different way.

[Carver Amell]

"I th-thought maybe-- I th-thought maybe I c-could be-- I could be b-better," he whispers, shuddering. "B-but... B-but.. I'm st-still me. Underneath. Still... broken."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"You can be," Haliel assures him. "It just takes time. Maybe even a lot of time." Pulling back, she gently kisses his forehead, actually having to angle upwards for once. "Besides... even broken things have value."

[Carver Amell]

He nods, and a few moments later, after drying his hands, he wipes away the last of the tears. "I should go talk to Beth," he says, sounding resigned, glum. "I'm sure she's mad at me."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"Not as much as you seem to fear," Haliel informs him. She might have been, she acknowledges, if I hadn't talked to her this afternoon. "She's... a bit delicate at the moment, but she wants to talk to you. Well, us." The paladin hesitates, then admits, "she mentioned being worried she'll snap at you again and wants me there to step in and stop her from saying things she'll be ashamed of later."

[Carver Amell]

He winces. "It's... it'll be okay. I won't... I won't get mad."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"I think a part of her would welcome you being mad," Haliel admits with a sigh. "She feels terribly guilty for hurting you."

[Carver Amell]

"Sh-she does? B-but I'm the one who h-hurt her..."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"From her story- which took a lot of coaxing and some reading between the lines- it sounds like you hurt each other. She pushed too fast and too... much... in her need to be the one to help you for once and it lead to both of you being very hurt. But hurts can heal, even if they never entirely fade away. It's clear you both Love each other very much and want to be a Family." She smiles, reaching up to brush a lock of his hair behind his ear. He needs a haircut. Not really for length, just a bit shaggy. I suppose it makes sense, plants don't have hair. 

[Carver Amell]

But still, he shakes his head. "I'm f-fine though. I'm okay. I just-- I just need to-- I need to be clear on, on how this can't happen again."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"...Carver, is there a reason why you can't admit that what happened hurt you?" There's no accusation or judgement in her voice, simply concern.

[Carver Amell]

"Because it... didn't?" he says, slowly. "I mean, not really? I-- I was scared and confused and, I mean maybe a little hurt, but I took care of it and now I'm fine. That's not-- that doesn't matter. It's not like, hurt hurt. It's not even worth bothering over."