The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene nods. "This one..."

Nir voice becomes softer, almost shy. "In the past, a shutdown of this magnitude would... This one would... would have sought treatment. This one was afraid that this one would never... would never speak again."

[Varric]

Varric blinks, then winces, guilt on his face. "I... I... damn. I let you down, didn't I? You looked after me but..."

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene shakes nir head quickly, eyes widening. "No!" 

[Varric]

"I didn't... comfort, support, reminding you that someone cares. Quiet and care... how much of that did I give to you? You looked after me but..." Varric shakes his head slowly.

[Helene Dakesh]

"No," says Helene again, still shaking nir head. "No, no. On the contrary. This one-- no. You do not understand. I have-- Varric has done more to help this one than any other figure in this one's entire history. Varric has freed this one. You have freed me. The words came back."

[Varric]

Varric stills, breathing slowly. Ne probably didn't- when was the last time Helene misspoke to a significant degree? But... "I..." He trails off, studying nir face carefully. "I... I am humbled," he finally says in a faint tone.

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene wipes a tear from nir eyes. "You promised it would be possible. But this one did not believe you. The words came back. This one did not require treatment. This one thought... in the dark, in the cave, this one thought this one would die. Or that this one would shut down and this one would never again be able to-- but this one recovered. On my own."

[Varric]

Varric smiles, joy and respect pushing back- if not vanquishing- the guilt he feels. "Yeah. Yeah they did. Told you that you were stronger than you gave yourself credit for," he says softly.

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene shakes nir head -- but there's a real smile on nir face as well. "Or the defect is of lesser severity than this one was lead to believe. But-- it is the same either way. If this one was wrong about... about this, then... perhaps this one has been wrong about much."

[Varric]

"Proud of you," Varric says, slightly uncomfortable. For some reason, it feels... more, saying that sort of thing to nem.

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene bows nir head. "It is little, compared to-- this one did not fear enclosure before this one was trapped. When it was this one's own worst fears, this one was far less brave."

[Varric]

"No need to compare," Varric says gruffly, eyes glancing at the door again. "And you- this- losing words, losing... purpose- isn't that your worst fear? Faced that well enough."

[Helene Dakesh]

"No," ne says, quietly. "Without words there may still be purpose. If Alydra calls this one to serve in silence, this one will do so gladly. Being spurned by Alydra, being discarded -- that would be worse. This one fears that without words, this one would be of no use. Would be abandoned. Worse than that-- Renaud." 

[Varric]

Varric feels something searing and sharp inside him. "Ah. Yeah." He exhales slowly, counting to ten(ish) in base one point seven. 

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene looks at nir hands. "Being helpless, at someone's mercy, is a lot like being trapped," ne says, quietly. "This one understands, a little."