The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Haliel Lightsong]

"Mmm," the paladin agrees, nose still in her book. "What does... 'ag teacht' mean?" she asks, looking up with a frown. I really need to start practicing my celestial more often, I'm shamefully rusty.

[Varric]

"Comingle or to mix together but not blend," Varric supplies, glancing at Helene to make sure ne is paying attention as well. This... could be interesting. 

[Marian Hawke]

"So why do you need to know about The Songstress?" urges Marian. 

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel was never in this position, but her expression resembles nothing more than the look of a child spotted with hand in the jar and cookie crumbs on her lips. "Umm. Well- that is- you see..." She licks her lips, fidgeting in her chair. "I... think I my have... met Adoration in a dream?"

[Marian Hawke]

"...you're thinking of converting." says Marian flatly, hand twitching faintly. 

[Varric]

"Rare for paladins," Varric comments.

[Haliel Lightsong]

"No, not- not exactly. I just... well..." She bites her lips, not sure how to phrase this. "I'm still a Ray. I... just... am also a Bright. For a while. A year or so."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian stares at her, heart sinking. "Why would you want to do something like that?"

[Haliel Lightsong]

Oh no, she's... I need to reassure her. "It's not bad at all," Haliel says quickly. "I'm learning so much and- I mean, Astea's dogma is lovely." She pauses at Varric's snickers, blushing. "I... didn't mean to make a joke there."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian shakes her head. "If you really want to learn about Astea, wait here," she says, and hops up, heading for her room. A moment later, she comes back with a thin, battered paperback: a book of essays on Astea's love doctrine, purporting to go more in-depth about Love as an act of worship rather than a mere feeling.

[Varric]

Varric frowns as he peers at the book. "Interesting take on things. Lot of... pressure though," he comments.

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel doesn't comment, instead taking the book and leafing through it to get a better idea of the message.

[Marian Hawke]

Marian goes back to her work, swallowing as she does, trying not to recall the occasion of Gamlen's gifting it to her -- the occasion of her being sent away from Nyra.

The essays aren't necessarily bad, on their own. Each has a different author, all from the same temple. One near the front talks about sacrificial love, love as the force that motivates the lover to surrender comfort and safety in pursuit of something terrifying, wild, and fulfilling. Another talks about love of children, urging the reader -- whatever their gender -- to procreate if at all possible, against some trend at the time of having children later or not at all. Another talks about love of Astea, love that calls one to be their best self so that Astea is glorified. 

Another talks about love as denial, of Astean love as rejecting Cirenite passion and desires. This essay cautions the reader against indulging in mindless sex, instead counseling them to wait until the time is right to bring forth children in a beautiful act of love-making and life-creating. 

Another talks of love as a yearning for one's other half, one's soulmate, the person who is so different you cannot see how you fit together but nevertheless completes you, soothes the raw places inside you. This essay cautions the reader against love of the same sex, as it would fail to bring about the radical transformation that love can be. It similarly rails against the "fad" of wedding brother to sister, or father to daughter, insisting that only in the other can one find the self, and that family should be the end result of the transformative love, rather than the starting place. And it cautions the reader that if one is torn between two lovers, take the latter, for if the love of the former were a revolutionary and life-changing gift from Astea, as a soulmate should be, the latter love would never have been born.

None of the essays disagree with each other in the particulars. Each of them offers a view of love, but none of them promote what another forbids, only offers a different take on the same subject. Here and there, sentences in other essays will reinforce another one, or reference them, indicating that they were likely written together as a cohesive body by a group working in concert. Taken together, they are a warning and a prescription: there are many ways to love, but only some of them are Astean.

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel studies the book for a long moment after she finishes, a frown having formed before she was halfway through. "No," she finally says simply, setting the book aside. There are parts she agrees with and parts she abhors, but in the whole... I can't say exactly why that book makes me uneasy but... It does. It just doesn't... Her eyes close slightly as she recalls Adoration. The conversation itself is vague, muddled and faded, but the feeling? The bargain and the feeling... those are as clear and vivid as the sun above her. 

[Varric]

As soon as she sets it aside, Varric snatches it up- he'd been reading it along with her from across the table, but now he leafs through it rapidly. Jumping from page to page, he starts tallying things up and comparing ideals.