The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene looks down at the parchments arrayed before nem, taking a deep breath. "Do you wish... I cannot mentor you in this, Apprentice. This one will write any letter of recommendation you require. But I cannot lead you to a Dark deity. This one can provide knowledge, but no more. If this is the path the Apprentice will take, this one must end the apprenticeship."

[Varric]

'You've convinced yourself pretty firmly," Varric notes with a sigh. "Can you at least... keep the idea open? Revisit it from time to time? That maybe this," he gestures at the essay compilation, "is wrong? That your belief that sapphic love is inferior or tainted, impure, whatever, and can't reach the... spark needed to make you the person you require?"

[Haliel Lightsong]

"I do understand," Haliel says somberly, ignoring Varric. "I will continue to love you, to walk by you as far as I can and to care for you." And to stop you, if you go too far.

[Marian Hawke]

Marian looks down, blinking back tears. So that's finished. Just as I thought. "Alright," she says quietly. "It doesn't really matter. I'm not Astean, not in a long time." I need to get rid of the bits of Astean left in me from childhood -- it's a weakness, something that will lead me away from the Path.

"So maybe the essays are right and maybe they're wrong, but it doesn't apply to me anyway."

[Varric]

"Sure they do," Varric says with an eyeroll. "If the reason why you're Walking Zanon's path is that these say that Astea's dogma is insufficient, then them being wrong means that Astea's ways are a valid option. Thus you don't need the path and don't need to... sacrifice various things."

[Marian Hawke]

She presses her lips together, glancing up at him. "So all three of you object, then? I'm not free to pick my own deity?"

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel frowns. "What?" she asks, startled. 

[Varric]

"None of us are telling you that you can't- we're just informing you of our choices and responses to your choice. Hells, Shiny's only said supportive things," he points out.

[Marian Hawke]

"I know you object to my being Zanonite," she says, to Lightsong. "But Varric and Helene are Alydran. I thought that meant helping me get the objective information I need, not trying to convince me to change my mind by feeding me slants. Am I going to have to fight all three of you just to pick my own deity to worship? This is right for me. I've thought about it a ton. But I'm here trying to learn and if you guys are just going to subtly try to convert me back the whole time, I can study on my own."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"I- when did I object?" Haliel protests, sounding hurt. "I've been trying- I've been trying very hard to be supportive, what did I do wrong?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Just a minute ago you tried to convince me to be Astean," she scowls. "I-- I guess you have been more neutral than I expected, but.. it's like nobody accepts that I've converted at all."

[Haliel Lightsong]

"I- I didn't realize I wasn't... allowed to offer my opinion," she says tightly. "My apologies. Is there any other topic I should know about that I cannot disagree with you on?"

[Marian Hawke]

"It's not the disagreement, it's the manipulation, and you're doing it right now," she snaps. 

[Varric]

"Woah, woah, woah- Marian, please explain what you're reading from us," Varric says firmly. "I think we're hitting that miscue problem again. Remember?"

[Marian Hawke]

Marian takes a deep breath, then another. "A minute ago, Lightsong said I was already Astean. But I'm not. It's manipulative to try and pressure me into changing like that. And Helene is saying I have to stop being her -- nir apprentice if I switch, in the hopes I'll change my mind. And Varric at the same time is trying to convince me I can switch to Astea because of the book. All three of you are trying to pressure me into changing deities instead of accepting that this is what I want and helping me do it. I asked you here to help, not to manipulate me into changing to Astea instead! You all picked the gods you want -- but when I pick, you all try to convince me to change to someone you like better. That's mean."