The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Carver Amell]

The date goes well. Carver makes a point not to bring up anything too heavy, not after the crying; instead, he asks about her training, and they talk about the Oak, about druids they've met, about his adventures in physical manhood. 

It goes so well, in fact, that he asks her on another as they get back. "T-tomorrow, of course," he adds, not wanting to seem overeager. She accepts; this time, they take Hunter out to the woods to practice teaching him to follow scents, something Elder Peli has been instructing Carver about when he catches her out and about.

The pup tuckered out, the pair sit on a fallen log and skip rocks in a small pond, still talking, neither in a mood to go home.

"I don't know if I look so good in black. When my father died-- sorry," says Carver, instantly, realizing what he's said. "Sorry, I don't mean to remind you-- sorry."

[Merrill]

"It's okay," Merrill says softly. She's gotten better with her stuttering, at least around him. She rarely speaks at all around the others- Lighstong some, and Helene, though Beth sometimes gets actual conversation- but with him at least, her stutters have mostly smoothed over. Not that he's likely to realize it, but that indicates it's a nervous condition, not a true speech impediment. Looking down at her hands, at the small, round stone she's holding, she shrugs a little. "I never knew my parents at all so... I only miss... what could of been. It's Elder..." She trails off with a wince.

[Carver Amell]

"Marethari?" he asks, quietly. "The one who taught you to braid your hair?"

[Merrill]

Merrill nods mutely, slowly turning the stone in her hands. After a moment, she whispers, "she died. It was my fault."

[Carver Amell]

Carver nods, accepting that as he strokes Hunter's sleepy body. "How did it happen?"

[Merrill]

"I... I had... I saw things. Heard things. D-Daughter Taras says I saw spirits." She pauses, glancing at him. "They're l-like... tulwath but... native to our w-world. Sorta." She shakes her head, then pushes onwards, needing to tell this, needing to tell him. "Elder M-M-M- she was t-trying to t-teach me b-but she... I n-n-needed my own t-t-teacher s-so she- she h-hired an- an-" She sniffs deeply, rubbing at her eyes. "He took her m-money, k-k-killed her, looted her house and fled.'

[Carver Amell]

"Merrill, that's..." He swallows, hard. "That's awful. And-- and not your fault. It isn't!" he protests, seeing her expression. "You can't be blamed for being born. She chose to get you a teacher. I... My father died of a stroke. The fi-first attack  took away a lot of his w-wits, and then he passed the second time-- but, they s-said, after, that, being with Mother, making me, probably shortened his life. Is that m-my fault?"

[Merrill]

Merrill shakes her head quickly. "No! But- But If I had just- just st-studied harder or- or been- if I was- st-stronger, I c-could have gone by m-myself..."

[Carver Amell]

"If you c-could have studied harder, she wouldn't have hired a teacher," he says. "My-- Mother gave up on my tutors when I was little. Beth always had to keep at it but I only had to learn the basics, because I'm stupider. But before she gave up, she was always scolding me to work harder. I'm sure your Marethari would have tried that if it was that sort of thing."

[Merrill]

"I... I..." Merrill sniffles softly, head lowering to stare at her hands again. "But... everyone b-b-blamed me. She... she told me that... that she w-would... if- if she d-died... b-b-but m-murderers..."

[Carver Amell]

"She would what?" asks Carver, frowning a bit in confusion. 

[Merrill]

"M-M-Murderers d-don't get to inh-h-herit." Well, that... is mostly an explanation?

[Carver Amell]

Carver's expression darkens to something terrible and fierce as he understands. He turns his head sharply away from her; with a shout, he hurtles a rock into the pond, panting afterward.

[Merrill]

Merrill doesn't shriek or shout, or cry. She just rolls back off the log they were sitting on and curls into a ball, utterly silent. Hunter, startled awake, lets out a wild flurry of yips- and bolts after the rock right into the pond.

[Carver Amell]

Carver's hands shake, in his lap, as he folds them, trying not to scare Merrill further. He takes a deep breath, then another. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "You can come out, now, Merrill. I'm done being mad."