The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Marian Hawke]

"I can do it." She holds out her hand for the scissors. "You ordered -- ordered -- me not to speak, so I couldn't tell you I had to go meet my friend. I was already late as it was, but I thought this was more important."

[Varric]

Varric winces. "I just meant while we were in the building," he says, rubbing the back of his neck as he hands her the scissors. "I was expecting us to get chased by guards any second. Prissy Pelly's done it before to surfacer dwarves."

[Marian Hawke]

"Just saying, if you tell someone  not to speak you can't hold it against them when they don't tell you where they're going. Anyway, I needed to hit someone and I got my chance -- there was some obnoxious fucker bothering Tanna, so I beat the shit out of him for her. Then I spent the afternoon with her and um, the afternoon didn't end until a little bit ago. So I need a nap, probably, but I guess I can help after that if you still want it."

[Varric]

Varric narrows his eyes. "Please, don't even try that- you could have tapped my arm, gotten into eyesight, any number of things instead of just vanishing for almost an entire day without warning in the middle of an infiltration. I thought you'd been snatched," the dwarf says with a scoff. "You were pissed at me, fine and understandable. But let's not insult our intelligences by trying to make it sound like you had no options."

[Marian Hawke]

"It wasn't supposed to be a whole day or I would have," she snaps. "But it's not like I had much incentive to come back and get yelled at, did I?"

[Varric]

"What yelling?" Varric points out. "I've barely sharpened my voice- and can you honestly say you wouldn't be even a little irritated if I had done the same thing to you? If I fuck up, call me on it. If you fuck up, I'm going to do the same."

[Marian Hawke]

"You sure sounded pissed when I left, I'm supposed to magically know you didn't mean it this time?"

[Varric]

"No," Varric allows. "But have I ever actually yelled at you when you haven't deserved it? I can only recall the once." The tower. "Getting real old, you expecting me to hurt you because others have. Think I'd have earned at least a little trust by now."

[Marian Hawke]

"I've known you less than a year, long-lived, one instance is plenty."

[Varric]

"The once when you deserved it," Varric clarifies. "And beg your pardon, but you'd need to live a dragon's lifetime and more if you're expecting me to feel any regret of that particular scolding. I will never apologize for saving your damn life. You mean too much to me and others to just... let you die."

[Marian Hawke]

Her eyes fill with tears she angrily wipes away. She can feel herself softening toward him, a bit of tenderness taking root in her heart, and she hates it, dashing it to bits as hard as she can. Don't open a weak spot just because he says something kind! Don't let him hurt you. You  know better. The world doesn't work that way -- you're going to have to be your own strength, not lean on him. Tanna won't be impressed if you sell yourself so cheaply, for a few kind words.

"I didn't deserve it and you know it," she snaps. "At least if I'd done it you couldn't hold it over my head forever."

[Varric]

Varric's jaw tenses and he leans forward. "Name once. Name one time I've demanded payment for any of the help or kindness I've given you. Even this, even my quest- I asked and offered payment. You might be determined to hurt everyone around you so they leave but I'm tougher and more stubborn than most, Marian Hawke, and I don't abandon my friends so easily."

[Marian Hawke]

"You! Right now! You're demanding I trust you just because you saved my life -- that's my choice to make, and you can't just demand trust from someone! I never asked for your help, Varric Tethras, and you're not a better person than me just because you gave it!" 

She pulls away from him, angrily, slamming the scissors down onto the vanity. 

[Varric]

"What the fuck Marian? I didn't demand anything- I said 'think I'd have earned at least a little trust by now.' That's not a demand, that's me expressing an opinion. Am I not allowed to have those around you? You keep going on about how it's not fair that people expect things from you, but you sure as fuck expect a lot from us- mostly betrayal, abandonment and scorn, but damned if you don't take those crimes out on us regardless of whether do commit them or not."

[Marian Hawke]

"But it's not just an opinion -- it's you pressuring me, and you damn well know it! Get your little digs in at me if you want, but don't expect me to miss them, I'm not stupid, and don't expect me to like them. I have options now, so if you keep making this the least appealing one, one day I won't be here anymore."