The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Marian Hawke]

"My.. what?" she asks, blinking. "I-- I can't be anyone's godparent."

[Varric]

"Godparents look after kids if the parent can't. You've already proven that you're willing to die for him so..." Varric shrugs, a soft smile on his face as he peers down at the infant. "Shiny got the other slot, if that helps." 

[Haliel Lightsong]

The aasmiar flushes, delighted yet again at the reminder. "I can change if he needs it," she says, knowing better than to offer to fed or burp Rick. Varric is very selfish about baby time.

[Marian Hawke]

"They're also supposed to provide moral guidance. And I-- I can't do that." She takes a deep breath, looking up to the treeline again. 

[Varric]

"Shiny can tell Rick what not to do. You can tell him why," Varric says softly. "More, you can tell him that even if the does slip, does sin, that he can come back. That just because he has horns and a tail, doesn't make him evil. That he can have family, find love."

[Marian Hawke]

She swallows hard, and then again. "I-- I can't tell him that, Varric. I can't... family, yes, but.. I'm..."

Say it. Coward.

"I'm Unclaimed," she whispers, shivering a little, her stomach heaving at the very idea. Just hearing the word makes her skin crawl, like maggots festering under the top layer of skin, worming their way in search of more tender flesh. Gods. What a mental image.

[Zevran]

Haliel makes a soft whining noise but can't find words. Varric blinks slowly, trying to process that. 

"Unclaimed?" Zevran is the first to speak, the word known but... only the shape of it. Can she not just... pick a god then?

[Marian Hawke]

"The gods have rejected me. I belong to none of them. I am not recorded in Alydra's records, I am not sung in Astea's song, the god of hope and mercy has rescinded my second chance, She no longer claims me as Hers, my Path is occluded. I am unclaimed. If I had-- if I had leapt from that tree and dashed myself on the ground, I would have-- nobody knows, but nothing good." She shudders, violently, wrapping her arms around her middle, struggling to breathe deeply and not whimper so. 

[Haliel Lightsong]

"Fuck that!" Haliel rises to her feet, eyes blazing and fists trembling. "You will have a third chance, you will be in songs and stories, you will have an afterlife and be welcome or I will make Them accept you."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian looks up, shivering slightly at the force of Haliel's declaration. Something about her, her strength and her fury, calls to Marian, beckons her, whispers of what she could become if she surrenders, lets Haliel guide her and shape her. A force of vengeance, of change, of good and order, of-- 

of--

She can't put it into words. A tidal wave, a great cleansing rush of water and light, purging with the salt of the sea, dashing with the fury of the waves clashing against rocks. Something powerful. 

She lets out a small whimper, squatting to make herself a smaller target. No, some part of her whimpers. No. I want to be myself. Let me be myself! 

[Varric]

"Hey," Varric says in a hard whisper. "No shouting." Haliel sucks in a deep breath and moves off to the side, pacing as she flexes her hands. "Marian, you alright? You looked..." Hungry, then...

[Marian Hawke]

"She-- tidal wave-- I--" she stammers, shaking her head. "I... felt her. Her will. It-- I don't understand. Something's wrong with me. Just thinking about being... what I just said.. makes me want to throw up." 

[Varric]

"Outsider," Varric says softly, eyes widening. "You're half outsider, in a way that's more... literal than even Haliel. You need a deity, a purpose. That's why you're U- that too. Bitch and Path, they canceled out, leaving you forced to find a new, uh, patron."

[Zevran]

"We... need to be sure we do not leave you alone with any clerics or outsiders, I think, at least ones we cannot trust to not... press-gang you," Zevran says grimly.

[Marian Hawke]

"And it will be harder, coming from Dark gods, to follow a Bright one," she whispers. "Harder to get their attention, to have them welcome me. Not impossible. But harder."