Ghost Story

[Varric]

"What?" Varric's expression shows hints of confusion. "Why wouldn't being used, lied to and betrayed by someone you're trusting hurt?"

[Marian Hawke]

She shakes her head. "You said it's not supposed to hurt, doing... that. Not supposed to bleed."

[Varric]

"Oh! Oh. That. Yes." Varir clears his throat. Suppose she doesn't exactly have a parent to-- to explain this sort of thing. "Well..." He c coughs a little. "Don't need any, ah, descriptive details, but would I be correct that he more or less just went for it?"

[Marian Hawke]

"I... guess? Yeah. I mean, he spit on it first, to slicken it up."

[Varric]

Varric shudders vigorously. "Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong." He shakes his head, the movements sharp. "For starters: foreplay. Foreplay isn't a bonus, it's an integral part of a safe and satisfying sexual encounter. And no, a hasty kiss or two and grabbing your tits and mashing them around for a few minutes doesn't count. Neither does oral sex for just him."

[Marian Hawke]

"Fore... play?"

[Varric]

Varric stares for a long moment. "What."

[Marian Hawke]

She reddens. "What, I'm not an expert in sex stuff!"

[Varric]

"Haven't-- Right, memories aren't slotting rapidly," he mutters to himself, though she can make it out as well. "I doubt either of us would enjoy me, ah, giving a detailed lecture on all this but I can explain in brief now and five you some reference material to read on you on. We can go over individual questions that you have afterwards." He clears his throat, eyes on the floor.

"Foreplay is-- it's actions that help prepare both-- or all I suppose-- people involved for climax and so forth. It's especially important if penetration of any kind is going to occur as the body isn't constantly ready for sex. The, uh, the vagina can produce lubrication naturally, as well as loosening up to allow for expansion but the person attached to it has to be properly aroused, which foreplay does. The anus isn't designed for sex though, so significant preparation is needed. You have to train the muscles to relax, carefully, and use a lot of lubrication. Edible oils are pretty common, but there are specially designed lubricants that work better. Spit, semen and water are not adequate at all."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian nods, slowly, taking all this in. "Alright," she allows, when he finishes. "So... so we just... did it wrong."

[Varric]

Varric snorts. "Not 'just wrong.' More like 'terribly wrong.' Just wrong is boiling the water for your tea with the leaves already in it. This is more like tossing a handful of dirty leaves from the ground into good, clean boiling water, throwing out the water, rubbing the hot, sodden leaves in your hair and eating the kettle."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian makes a face. "Not that bad. I mean, it worked. He got off."

[Varric]

"Also wrong. Sex should--" Varric pauses, then scowls. "Okay, it's not required that all participates get off for a sexual encounter to be considered complete or successful, but everyone should be happy with the results. Satisfied, sexually or otherwise. You should not be in pain, feeling used, soiled, made less, ashamed, empty, abandoned, or sick."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian looks away, swallowing hard. "I-- well, I can't get off, I don't have a dick."

[Varric]

"A dick isn't required for having an orgasim," Varric says patiently, trying very hard to not get distracted by wondering how this all got to here.