The Drow Queen of Glaley [Very NSFW]

[GamesMaster]

"Yeah, exactly. I made up my mind twenty years ago when I burned myself that I was going to be the best damn man I knew how to be, and not look back. Makes it hard to share childhood stories but plenty of people have pasts they don't talk about." You're babbling. "Anyway. I'm glad you're okay with it. It's been... lonely, not being able to get close to anyone. I've been saving up for some magic but I'm a long way off."

[The Iron Bull]

A Regeneration ritual isn't-- oh right, secret. Duh. "What, uh, what are you looking at?"

[GamesMaster]

"I mean you hear rumors of curses that can do the job, maybe baked into a ring, but I don't even know where to begin with that. I'd need some kind of permanent polymorph or something."

[The Iron Bull]

You do? Huh. Guess I do kind of listen more for fighting stories. Still. "What about--" He coughs. "I've, uh, heard of these special hats that can alter your shape. The good ones do, I mean. The cheap ones just make you look, smell and sound different, but the good ones are touch too. They let you pick any mortal shape you can think of so maybe one that's just a single form would be cheaper?" 

He shrugs, not really knowing all that much about magical gear aside from the smatterings he's picked up running errands for Ced. And, naturally, ever detail and feature of his beloved axe; a slightly modified version of deep cave minotaurs' kordinu axe.  Four feet of haft topped by a foot and a half of axe blade, the business end seems to be the result of some madman putting a greataxe on the end of a spear, then adding grooves along the sides to tear up the target more, saw teeth on the edge to focus the force on impact and hooks and spikes on the back of the head for shits and evil giggles. It had been given to him with just a basic enchant and a little extra mojo to make it more durable, but Cedric had arranged to have it enchanted a few year ago so now it magically increases its own weight at the instant of impact and is sharper than even adamantine should allow.

Bull loves his axe. Her name is Vicky, short for Peerless Victoria.

[GamesMaster]

"Could do. but if I come under suspicion, that's the first thing they'll take off me. And then I'd be caught."

[The Iron Bull]

"Uhhhh, maybe it can be cursed too?" Bull hazzards. "And maybe not a hat? How about... if I don't tell her why-- in fact, if I tell her it's a favor for a friend but that I promised not to blab, mind if I ask her Ladyship about the whole hat-but-maybe-not-a-hat idea?"

[GamesMaster]

Krem looks a little surprised. "I... suppose," he says, slowly. 

[The Iron Bull]

"Is that a 'I wasn't expecting that but sure, go for it' or a 'I dunno about this but I'm not sure how to say no' kind of suppose?"

[GamesMaster]

"Wasn't expecting it. You think she'll be able to help? I mean..."

[The Iron Bull]

Bull waves off his doubts, then leverages the motion into picking up the remaining apple. "Yeah, she's honestly a huge softy. Well. If you get around the sharpened stake pit, the jagged metal walls, the snipers and the madness mist-- long story, tell you sometime over beers or in bed-- she's a huge softy. She'd be thrilled to help one of her own."

[GamesMaster]

"I mean, at the end of the day, I just need a cock. The rest of me I can handle, but that's the part that'll get me. I hear they make toys that are soft and warm like a real one. Do they make any that'll, you know, function? Especially if I could pee standing up?"

[The Iron Bull]

"Uh..." Bull coughs softly. "Yeah, those exist. Not cheap, but they exist." Kind of neat too, though it's still a little weird, sucking Ced's dick when it's pretty obvious that it's normally the Tin Bitch wearing it. 

[GamesMaster]

"What kind of not cheap?" he wonders. "I can keep saving up."

[The Iron Bull]

"More than a guard's sword?" Bull offers after a moment, then swallows the rest of the apple he'd been chewing on. "I could find out?" Probably really, really not cheap. Tin Bitch, for all her faults, doesn't skimp on outfitting her guard. Basic enchants and an element for even the rank and file on cold iron and mithril blades and Ced made it sound like there was a big price difference.

[GamesMaster]

Krem nods. "I'd... appreciate it, actually. Thank you."