Tobys cabin

[Jamie D'vart]

"N-no, I didn't," he protests. 

[Toby]

"That's not what the painting says. It's ok.but tell me what was it like to feel that?"

[Jamie D'vart]

"You're not listening. I hated it. I hated it and my power liked it a little and I hated that too. My. power, it... strong emotions are what it craves. Any strong emotions so long as they're outside me. It's like drowning, I can hardly feel what I'm feeling. So I paint out what I can feel so I can remember."

[Toby]

I take a breath then another. "Ok." Fuck I fucked up my stomach drops. Shit I lost control no I gave up control cause I miss read him, now he is going to hate me I take another breath no he's mine I'll make him love me "so now what? What do you want?"

[Jamie D'vart]

Jamie looks away. "I can't like it," he murmurs. "If I didn't... if I liked it... then I might end up like my sister. She used to torture animals, and make me report on how they felt. I have to keep that part of myself under lock and key."

[Toby]

"You don't have to but if you want to then we'll find away to make this work." You can go for a walk when I bring back pray or I can send you to town with one of the batas, we'll work something out do you don't have to see that side of me again."

[Jamie D'vart]

"It wasn't.... I love my sister," he changes subject abruptly. "I just wish she would fit in more. You don't... not fit in."

[Toby]

"It's a skill. It can be taught. Wish I'd had the chance to meet her may have been able to get her to fit. I had to be taugh how to fit too."

[Jamie D'vart]

"Do you... think you could... unlearn... you know... the dangerous stuff?"

[Toby]

"It's not that simple. I learned to hide my true self. The parts of me that like being a monster. But their still part of me. If you ask my naeighbors about me they'll say I'm polite, friendly, a good husband and father. My employees think in a goof ball who runs a tight ship. My military friends know this side of me. The soilder who follows all orders and my pack they know just how viscous I can be, it's all me tho. The family man, the goof, the soilder, the monster. It's all still me. I'd rather be open with you but if I can't be then so be it."

[Jamie D'vart]

"What if... can I... try something? To try and...?"

[Toby]

I rais and eyebrow but nod "go ahead"

[Jamie D'vart]

Jamie reaches out to take his hand. 

Instantly, he feels a sick, twisting, all-consuming terror. Panic so great it blots out thought, blots out sensation, until there's nothing he wants more than to scream. It only lasts a few seconds before Jamie lets go. 

"That's what he felt," he whispers, looking at his lap. 

[Toby]

I sit back panting "I haven't felt that since I was a kid" I say slowly "still it's nice to know he suffered. If Tova haven't jumped in the way he would have killed my little girl." I grumble

[Jamie D'vart]

"You don't... care? That you made someone feel just as bad as you felt?"