Under Darkness [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran keeps himself from tensing thanks to long training and practice. Moving slowly, he reaches for a pair of thin shards of hardwood he keeps in the waistband of his trousers. As he does so, he strains his ears to try and get some kind of hint on the other occupant of... where the fuck even am I? I can't remember where...

[GamesMaster]

The breathing is definitely coming from beside the bed -- and it sounds lighter, less wheezy than Varric's breathing. He places the sound's physical location first: beside his bed, at the level of the mattress or slightly below. Someone slumped against the floor, he can assume, their head right by the bed. He could easily get the drop on them. 

[Tethras Clan]

Alright... Slow and quiet or fast and bluffing? Fast, he decides. Rolling over with a faint grunt, as if still asleep, he tries to get an angle so he can see what's on the floor.

[Isabela]

A flash of brown hair, shifting upright with a start. Familiar shade, too, for all that he hasn't seen it since Momento Mori. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Ma'bela?" he asks, voice cracking and almost a prayer.

[Isabela]

"I'm here," she whispers, turning to face him.

She looks much the same as always. She's wearing less makeup, of course; she's not dressed up for him, instead showing up in something closer to her adventuring gear. She's not armed, though if he knows his Bela, she's wearing at least six knives on her person. She's left off a bandanna today -- or no, it's slid down to her throat --  and her hair is pulled back loosely, her usual jewlery absent save for her ring. And in her eyes, is that concern? Mild; there's a smile on her lips as her eyes flit over him, checking him over. 

"It's good to see you awake." 

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran stares at her for a moment, brain spinning aimlessly. Isabela? Why- how? "Espoir au désespoir?" he whispers a bare second before he rolls over the edge of the bed to cling to to her. Sobbing.

[Isabela]

"H-hey ,hey now," she says, trying to sound soothing. He looks like death warmed over, and now-- what happened to him? Isabela, what have you stepped in now? 

She ought to be creeped out by this, or at the very least, a bit frightened. Zevran, her Zevran, her sauveur, was sobbing his eyes out on her shoulder. Had been said to be ill, but wasn't feverish or vomiting. Had been locked in a room at an inn having been seen with that dwarf but not having any reason to be in town. She'd half hoped he was here looking for her, but no, that couldn't be it. There's no way Tethras would be here if that was the case. 

Unless he needs me for something more immediate than missing my company.

As soon as she has the thought, she realizes what must have happened. There's only one thing she can think that would shake him up like this, one thing she ever feared he might hold against her for doing. Hawke's dead. That has to be it. They've come to tell me about it, invite me to the funeral mayhap. I am not  ready for this, dammit! No, pull it together Isabela. You got out in time. You didn't get too attached. You'll cope. But poor Zevran...

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here." Awkwardly, she rubs his back, praying he takes the comfort she intends to impart despite not being quite sure how. 

[Tethras Clan]

It takes at least three or four minutes for Zevran to vent enough to be able to talk. Even then, it's... scattered. A stream of rambled words mixed into a greater stream of tears and sobs. She catches Merrill's name a lot. Apologies. Impressions that he wishes he can help. Or fix things. A few worrying cuts against his skin color and bloodline. Hawke's name comes up as well, but surprisingly, to her at least, less often than Merrill's. More than one desperate thanks to her. More apologies, some of them to her, for falling apart.

And also words of love. To her. No hedging, no evasions or pretensions. Just.. "Love you, ma'bela." He doesn't seem to expect a reply from her, doesn't make any demands. Just... "I love you."

[Isabela]

You-- you do? Don't read this wrong, Isabela. He's had a shock, he might just be... affectionate. If he doesn't remember this tomorrow, then don't hold him to it. 

More than once, she'd heard declarations of love in the bedroom that had been nothing but an embarassment the next day. Granted, the circumstances were usually rather different; for one, Zevran's wearing far too many pants for that situation. But still, she know better than anyone how little love the world has for a whore and a pirate.

What happened? I'm not sure if Hawke's alive or dead -- it sounds like Merrill might have died? Or that Hawke died and Merrill did something drastic in response? I'm glad I came, now, I was beginning to feel a bit foolish for letting myself in.

"It's alright," she says again, pressing a kiss to his cheek in an effort to gauge his temperature once more. Don't say anything you can't take back later, Isabela. "Whatever happened, I'm here now. As it turns out, I've got nowhere to be for " the foreseeable future,"a while." To hell with that job, if I lose it I lose it.

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran's breathing is still ragged when she finishes but he's at least stopped crying. Well, stopped stopping, as tears still fall. "...okay. Okay." He shudders a little. "Thank you, ma'bela," he murmurs. "I... I can't stop-I can't stop crying. I just. I keep.." He shudders again, breath hitching.

"I can's stop. Closed or open, I keep seeing-"

Merrill scrambling backwards from him, mouth open in a silent scream, eyes wild with fear.

"-the fear in her eyes. The slick shame and-"

Bite marks, handprints, cuts from whip and knife. The brand, just above her pelvis. Those eyes, filled now with tainted wisdom and fear, always ever forever fear.

"-gods, what do I do? I just... I want to peel my skin off, just cast if off so I can hold her without those eyes."

Please, I just want to help her. I need her to be okay. Hawke has Varric, Merrill needs me. And I can't- she can't even- Bastion help her, please, have mercy on her, Vangal take her fear, take those eyes. Astea, please, I love her, grant her Your blessing, help her please.

[Isabela]

Gods above, if I knew what to do I'd be doing it. She takes a deep breath, lets it out. His skin. This is a Drow thing? Something happened with Drow, and someone is afraid? But-- how much worse can it be that he doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to help? He was the only one that could help me. Who can help him?

Isabela's afraid she knows the answer. And she hates every second of it.

Not me. Never me. I'm only Isabela, only a pirate, only a wench, only a waitress. I'm nobody's savior. I wouldn't even know where to begin.

"Zevran," she says, her voice small, tender, as she rubs his back. 

[Tethras Clan]

"They're both so hurt. We abandoned H-Hawke and that monster took her in. B-broke her and we n-never even n-n-noticed. Only M-Merrill followed and it just got-got-" Zevran's will gives out then and he breaks out into fresh sobs. He hides his face in the crook of her neck, his whole body trembling.

I saw her searching, saw her aimless and adrift. But I... I didn't know how to help. Reaching out to her just caused her to smile and drift further away. Giving her space saw her fading from sight. All my charm, all my smooth words and I couldn't find the ones I needed when it really mattered. We made her come back to us...
 then gave up on her. Just... let our Clan dissolve, because it was too much work.

[Isabela]

You never noticed? How? Isabela takes a deep breath, then lets it out slowly. "Have you eaten?" she asks, quietly. 

[Tethras Clan]

"I... I can't remember," he whispers back. "I'm not hungry. I feel... nauseous. I... could you check on Merrill? I- I need to k-know if- if she's... gods, how could I have let this..."