Under Darkness [AU]

[Isabela]

"Listen to me," she says quietly, her voice more serious than he's heard it before. "This wasn't your fault. It was nobody's fault but--" his. "the one who did it." 

'I don't-- I can't--' she'd told him in response, breaking into fresh tears. He'd kissed her cheeks in response. 

'Hush, now. It's alright to--'

"It's alright to mourn. It's alright to hurt, for a little while. Cry, if it helps. Scream, if it helps." 

[Tethras Clan]

"...just hold me," Zevran begs softly. "I just... gods, I wish I could suffer for them. Make it up to them for failing. I... everything I love I... I'm cursed. Fate as black as my skin," he says bitterly. His jaw clenches and he abruptly sits up. "You should go."

[Isabela]

She makes no move to go; instead, she reaches for him, dragging him close, and improvises, whispering quietly: "Don't. Don't shut me out. Don't send me away. Don't hurt yourself. I-- I need you." A deep breath, and then, the words she swore she'd never say again: "I love you." 

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran stills, eyes snapping to met her own. "Isabela," he breaths out, tone filled with wonder. "Are you... you don't have to..."

[Isabela]

She shakes her head, swallowing. Stupid. That was stupid, Isabela. Throwing yourself at him like-- you're going to get hurt, bad. Do you want someone to hurt you that bad again? Do you want to be her again?

"I'll be here, whatever you need. However long you need, I have your back." 

[Tethras Clan]

Something in Zevran relaxes, just a little. Mends, just a little. "Ma'bela," he sighs, leaning down to rest his forehead against her own. "Just... being you is enough to hold me together. Thank you, for being the marvel you are."

[Isabela]

A marvel. Me. She's not sure whether to laugh or cry at the idea, but she keeps it inside, mentally sitting on the lid of the trunk she's unwittingly opened. 

She smiles despite not meaning it. "That's me. Isabela the wonder wench." Best I remember that myself, before I get in too deep.

[Tethras Clan]

"Wench, yes, but that is not a shameful thing. Nor is it all you are, my love," Zevran says to her soberly.  He shudders a little. "It's worth it you know," he whispers afterwards. "Saying the words. Not saying them. It still hurts. Better to at least have the memory of it."

[Isabela]

She pulls back, shakes her head. "You know me." Heartless, cold Isabela. The heart I had was murdered the day we met. I swore, I vowed, and still I ended up here. What am I doing?

"Let's just hope I don't have to steal any more ships, eh?" 

[Tethras Clan]

"I do know you," Zevran agrees, tone not matching her own emotionally evasive one. "You are better than you give yourself credit for. You should be kinder to yourself, ma'bela."

[Isabela]

"What could be better than me?" she teases, reaching up to run her fingers through her hair. A moment later, she pulls back from him, adjusting her bandanna to rest on her hair once more. 

[Tethras Clan]

"I love you," Zevran murmurs, brushing his lips on hers. "And... and you are likely very, very confused," he says slowly. "And probably more than a touch... concerned. I'm sorry, I... I am not well."

[Isabela]

"I am," she allows. "I didn't think I ought to ask while you were..." She gestures with her hand, unable to describe what he was going through moments prior. Carrying on? Breaking down?

[Tethras Clan]

"Falling apart in your arms?" Zevran supplies weakly. He forces a smile then. "Where to start..."

[Isabela]

"With breakfast. You've been asleep a long time, you need food."