Under Darkness [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran is quiet a moment. "I... I did, but it was different. Even at... I never loved any of them. Even my last m- even the last slaver that keep me, I merely... had a mild fondness for." He's spoken the most of that one- Lord Lucien had never used his bloodier talents in an active sense. Zevran had been his anti-assassin, someone with the skill set but set to prevent Lord Lucien's death instead. And, yes, as a bedwarmer for his second in command in order to cement the woman's loyalty, as well as many others in his household, not all of them ordered. Still, bed games were a welcome burden after his previous owners.

 "Even at my most scared- and worse, at my most comfortable- a part of me always wanted to be free. They tried to break me, to control me. They never tried to... woo me." He takes a deep breath. "And I think that's the key. We need to... make her realize- and then remember- how bad it was."

[Isabela]

Isabela nods. "If we can make her remember who she is, she was never someone who could condone this." She lets the anger go, shifting a little as she loosens her grip on Zevran a bit.

[GamesMaster]

Anders nods. "I am yet again obligated to remind you that we cannot necessarily assume her recovery will be as complete as yours. Each case is different."

[Tethras Clan]

"It'll take forever- and cost more than I have- to get enough Modify Memories spells to unearth everything of those four months," Varric muses, ignoring Ander's disclaimer. "Is there a... ritual or something SummerHill might have that can do a more... widespread remembering?"

[Isabela]

Isabela does not, however, ignore Anders. "So you keep saying," Isabela snaps. "Tell it straight or don't speak up: is this the best we can expect? Is she broken forever?"

[GamesMaster]

Anders blanches. "I don't know. We can do a ritual, perhaps, or-- perhaps a Delve. But I truly don't know how she's going to end up."

[Tethras Clan]

"A Delve? Like we did with you?" Varric demands rather tactlessly. "So we'd just stab... her mindscape's Jadan avatar or what have you and... she might get better?"

[GamesMaster]

"It is unlikely to be that straightforward," he argues quickly. "With a case of possession or near-possession, when there's an entity or discrete personality that is at fault, the delve is the most useful tool we have. We've begun exploring usefulness in other, more subtle cases, but it's still a work in progress. without knowing exactly what's going on in her head, I can't begin to speculate on the goal. We have had cases where the goal was to make someone accept a traumatic truth, but... the case I observed on did not end well."

[Isabela]

"Worse than this?" snaps Isabela. 

[GamesMaster]

"Deceased." he confirms. 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric is still a moment, then takes a deep breath. "Did... did it not end well because of the... healer team not succeding? Or because they failed? Was it a direct result of the Delve or did the unearthed truth cause the patient to..."

"She... she asked for my sword. I... I knew she might... but I wanted to trust her. I wanted to... I made a half-joke, about trusting her to have skill enough to not hurt herself, even as bad as she was with a blade once upon a time. She..." Aveline's hand presses against her stomach, a bare few inches above where Carver had once stabbed Hawke. "I'm not leaving her side again. Not ever. I've already sent in my resignation to the Guard. She's my duty, my cause, my life now."

"...commit suicide. I need more details," Varric finishes after a second or two's pause.

[GamesMaster]

Anders flinches slightly. "It wasn't-- it was complicated, and I'm not supposed to peak of the exact details of the case. Patient privacy and all that. But I can say it was.... The healer team reported struggling to get the patient to accept the truth they were unable to accept prior. It was a case where time was of the essence; there was no ability to move slowly in this instance, for fear that the patient would be harmed more. The patient was unwilling to leave a dangerous situation, and we hoped that the delve would help. The truth was particularly.. it was worse than we had anticipated, and when confronted with it in their delve, the patient was entirely unable to process it. The brute force attempts led to the patient... their psyche committed suicide, inside the delve. We hoped they would wake but that appears to be fatal. You have to recall, inside the delve the psyche, the manifestation of the person, has unprecedented power. There was nothing the healer team could do to restrain or prevent them from coming to harm once they were determined to... so the recommendation at current is not to attempt a delve when the patient is in such a dangerous mental state. Similar delves on patients who are unstable in other ways have proved similarly hazardous; if the patient cannot maintain mental equilibrium on their own, the delve is likely to further unsettle them. Which is why I was hoping she'd continue to show signs of recovery on her own, with traditional means."

[Tethras Clan]

"But if... if we bring back good memories prior to the Delve. Make her... give her something to come back to, before she can bury them again," Varric suggests a touch desperately. "I... Aveline might disagree. You all might too. But I think... I think that if the Hawke a month prior to Mori was asked, she would rather be dead than be what she is now for the next hundred years. So any risk is worth if it's there's nothing safer to be done."

Zevran snarls at Varric at the idea of it, a shard of mug slipping from his bloody hand to clatter on the floor. But he doesn't dispute the claim.

[Isabela]

Isabela takes a deep breath, steeling herself. "Hate me if you want, but I need to be the voice of reason here. If she-- if something like that happened..." She glances at Zevran, forcing herself to say it. "I don't know if you two would come out of it unscathed." 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric snorts. "Course we wouldn't. Neither would you, even if you'd rather eat glass than admit it. But we won't be... healthy with Hawke being as she is now either, will we? We can try safer stuff first, but if we have to risk, then we risk."

"I won't leave you ma'bela," Zevran whispers. "I promise. Not like that, I won't do that to you."