Under Darkness [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

Amata, she calls me Amata, her wife, her soulmate. Hawke takes a deep, shuddering breath. 

[Tethras Clan]

"That's right. That's what you are," Varric says, flicking his eyes to Aveline.

"My love, the sun I reach for, the song I hear in my heart," the paladin whispers, gently rubbing Hawke's hip where her right hand covers it in her loose hold.

[Marian Hawke]

No... no. I am weak and small and scared. I fail and I ruin lives and (Merrill's dark eyes, full of pain) I hurt people. 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric takes a deep breath, then decides to.. test, just a little. "She's doing pretty well lately. Had a nice dinner with Flirty and I last night in fact. Still a bit muted, but she joined in the conversation, even asked Isabela a few questions directly. Eye contact and everything."

[Marian Hawke]

Who is he--Merrill. He's talking about Merrill. Merrill's recovering. (Merrill's naked body, collapsed in a heap, is she breathing, is she even alive, I barely recognized her with all the blood, I wasn't sure she was awake until she screamed, her whole back slick with it, sick to my stomach, can't breathe, Merrill, sweet innocent Merrill, I did that to her, it was my fault) 

[Tethras Clan]

"Hawke, back with us. Back here. We're all safe. We're all safe, every one of us. No injuries, promise. Me- she's with Silence and Anders right now, nice and safe. And her personal healer, Minerva. Swear the hamadryads nearly adopted our favorite elf as her new sister. It's okay. We're all safe, she's safe," Varric says quickly. Aveline pulls Hawke closer, pressing a kiss to the merikos elf's neck.

[Marian Hawke]

How can anyone love someone who would do that to Merrill?  How can any of them love me? She lets out a small whine, trembling in Aveline's arms. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Hawke, it wasn't your fault. You didn't do it. It wasn't your fault," Varric repeats firmly. "We do love you. Merrill loves you. She's started asking directly about you, wanting to know how you're doing," he adds.

[Marian Hawke]

The feel of a leather-wrapped handle in her hand, the soft cry of pain as the flogger comes down on Merrill's back. Another whine, shaking her head against the memory. 

[Tethras Clan]

Sex is gods be damned strange. "That's... that's not the same Hawke. It's entirely- even I know that... a bit of pain in, uh, the bedroom isn't abnormal. Using a soft... paddle or switch is less standard but it's a far cry from a real whip," Varric assures her. "Ask Zevran. Or... or if you can't bring yourself to talk, then I can ask him for you. He'll know. You trust Zevran to know about that sort of thing, right?"

[Marian Hawke]

But I hurt her, I-- (pay attention, something happened here, what is it)

"a bit of pain in, uh, the bedroom isn't abnormal"

Papa is.. he's talking sex? About pain games? He knows about pain games?

[Tethras Clan]

"...I've been spending a lot of time with Zevran and Isabela in the last few months," the dwarf mumbles, a faint blush on his face. "They're always... talking." He makes a face. "I never needed to know Isabela can use a riding crop."

Aveline smirks a little, pleased to get a little revenge for him hearing that 'condom' thought.

[Marian Hawke]

I didn't know Papa was interested in that sort of thing. It seems to be working to distract her, at least. 

[Tethras Clan]

"It's... kind of like learning about what's inside sausage. You might not want to know, but you can't help but be curious," he explains, rubbing the back of his head. And it might be something Ineed to know to help you get better.

[Marian Hawke]

Hands bound behind her, blindfolded, nothing but Master's voice, Master's finger, begging for it, yearning, then a hot line of pain across her stomach, jarring her out of it, making her cry out with pain and denied pleasure--

"Teach me, master?" 

"Of course, my pet"

Hands bound behind her, looking up at him, begging him, "please, come with me, come back to Nyra."