Under Darkness [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline's heart clenches as her own memory of that event surges forward. She can recall the exact expression Hawke had when she pulled the trigger. And the one she wore after.

...you didn't fail me. You saved me. If you hadn't done exactly what you did, we'd have all died.  I won't say it didn't hurt. It did. It hurt so badly. But you made the right choice. I forgive you for the pain. I love you for the deed.

[GamesMaster]

"You left me for it." The voice is simple, matter-of-fact-- and ,for that matter, not coming from inside the memory anymore. How is she actually hearing that with her actual ears?

Varric and Zevran can tell: because across the garden, in the exact opposite entryway from them, is Hawke. She wears a thin cotton gown and no shoes, her hair long as it was when she was a girl. She's a little smaller, too; she grew a few inches in the time Varric has known her, and bulked out with muscle, which she doesn't have here. Her eyes are far away, as if she's seeing something other than Aveline as she gazes at the paladin and the flower.

[Tethras Clan]

"Hawke..." Zevran whispers forlornly.

Aveline blinks a few times- that transition was much smoother. Strange. "...I did. That was my failing, not yours," she says after swallowing. "I was scared, and I stepped back. I didn't want to... take the last step of admitting that you meant that much to me. I was weak."

[Marian Hawke]

"I knew what I meant to you," she says, her tone gentle, kind. "I knew you'd never forgive me. That you'd be broken, that you might never recover. I knew I'd break your heart even before Memento Mori. But I wanted you anyway."

The ermine jumps down, runs over to Hawke and up her arm, nuzzling her cheek. She lifts it, cradling in both arms like a stuffed doll. "Why are you here? This is where I come to be alone and remember what I am." 

[Tethras Clan]

"I think you mean sulk and brood," Varric comments, glancing around pointedly. "'cause this is just the worst... eh, I'd say sixth of your memories, all gathered up to torment yourself with."

[Marian Hawke]

She shrugs a shoulder, conceding the point. "Why are you here?" 

[Tethras Clan]

"Doing our best Hawke impersonations," Zevran says softly, studying this Hawke intently. "Being heroes. Trying to save you."

[Marian Hawke]

She blinks at him, sleepily. "Save me? I'm here, in my own garden." 

[Tethras Clan]

"Hawke... where do you think you are right now? Where is your garden?" Varric asks gently.

[Marian Hawke]

"This is my garden. I live here. There's nothing else." She blinks at him, frowning. "I have work to do. Please, ascend to the surface level, and do not pluck any more blossoms. I will have Teddy here find you a more suitable guide if you wish a tour."

The ermine shifts in her arms, squeaks at her. She smiles.

"Yes, I think Tethras will do nicely." 

[Tethras Clan]

"Teddy?" Zevran asks curiously. "So not Mister Wiggles then?" As he asks, he slowly ambles closer to Hawke and 'Teddy' so he can see them better. And because he's hoping a hug might be in the cards.

[Marian Hawke]

"I had Teddy since I was a child. He used to keep me safe from monsters," she admits, with a small smile. "I made a real one after the stuffed one was lost to the demons." 

She releases Teddy, who scampers off, presumably to find their new guide. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Huh," Varric says slowly, already making a note to see if they can get at stuffed ermine. Or, actually, given where they're at, maybe they can get a trained living one? Something to think over, he decides. "Just to check, you do realize this isn't the material plane, right?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Of course," she agrees. She waves her hand in an open gesture, indicating the flowers. "The material plane belongs in the Flower world. This is the Garden."

[Tethras Clan]

"Flower world... you mean the place the flowers are... created to record," Varric clarifies. "So you realize they're memories, your memories, of life outside the Garden? Your mindscape?"