Under Darkness [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

Marian sighs, stepping away from Zevran. "Alright. Alright. I'll look around for a minute or two. Then you'll see I'm right, we'll burn it down, and you can leave. Okay?"

[Tethras Clan]

"Curious- if there's nothing wrong, then why do you want to brain down part of your own mind?" Zevran asks as he lets Hawke go.

[Marian Hawke]

"That's where I put the worst memories of all. The ones I never want to see again," she admits. 

[Tethras Clan]

"They're part of what made you what you are," Zevran says softly. "Taking away the... details wouldn't erase the scars on your soul."

[Marian Hawke]

"That doesn't mean I want to dwell on them. What's underground is dark enough. Let them be forgotten."

[Tethras Clan]

"Except it won't be," Varric explains. "You're remove what and who, sure, but it won't remove what it did to you. It'll just turn into this... shapeless pain you can't ever fix. Please Marian, come in with me." He drifts over to her, extending a hand.

[Marian Hawke]

She looks at his hand for a moment, chewing on her lower lip. Then, with a deep breath, she takes it. 

[Tethras Clan]

Varric smiles at her warmly, then, on impulse, pulls her in for a tight dwarven hug.

[Marian Hawke]

Marian starts, but rapidly embraces her Papa, tears dripping onto his shoulders. She doesn't say anything; she just lets him hold her, lets him impart what comfort he can while Tethras looks on with naked envy writ across her face. 

They can't embrace long, not with the rift closing at the speed it is. When he leads her to the entrance, it's already on the small side, a bit of a squeeze for her due to her height. Worse, as soon as she enters, a wind begins to pick up in the greenhouse. Within seconds, it's as though someone had shaken a snow globe: the snow on the ground is picked up and flung in all directions, as well as chunks of ice from the ground and walls. Marian stands, transfixed, just inside the greenhouse, her skin pale, her breathing tense, shallow, rapid. 

[Tethras Clan]

"It's okay, it's okay, you're not alone here. Your Papa is right with you," Varric says softly, slinging an arm around Marian. "Take a deep breath. It'll hurt, gods this is going to hurt, but the bone needs to be set before it can heal proper. I'll be right here with you, I promise."

Outside the greenhouse, Zevran moves over to Tethras. "I am not Varric but if you like..." he offers tentatively.

[Marian Hawke]

Marian shake her head. "No, no, I can't. I can't. I won't be-- I won't be me anymore." 

[Tethras Clan]

"Hawke... you aren't really yourself now," Varric says gently. "And... everyone changes. I'm not who I was six months ago. And he wasn't who he was a year ago. Change is... just part of things. This is... the trick is to try for good changes. And, I'm not gonna lie to you, this one will suck, but it'll set you up for a good change."

[Marian Hawke]

Marian shakes her head, pulling away from his arm. "No, I-- no, I don't want this, I can't, I want--"

She swallows, her breathing halting for a moment as though the wind were knocked out of her lungs. She reaches a hand out, away from Varric, but nothing happens, nothing changes. In the blink of an eye, he can see red ribbons, surrounding her, binding her from neck to ankles, not preventing her from moving but tightening, constricting her skin. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Hawke!" Varric shouts, trying to grab at the ones around her neck to make sure she can breath. "Hawke, what's wrong, talk to me!"

[Marian Hawke]

She seems able to breathe, even as they tighten, constricting her body. "I can't-- you won't let me-- I can't--" she gasps out.