Under Darkness [AU]

[GamesMaster]

"It can't," he moans. Then, "I'm going back to Nyra." This one is firmer. 

[Tethras Clan]

"So you're just going to abandon them both?" Varric demands. "Is that for their sake? Or your own?"

[GamesMaster]

"Both," he groans. "I wasn't-- you saw what Marian did to me. No, not Marian. What I did to myself, over her." 

[Tethras Clan]

"What Hawke did- Anders you were cracked well before you even met Hawke," Varric points out.

[GamesMaster]

"It wasn't Justice that proposed," he says quietly. "Justice wanted to leave her behind." 

[Tethras Clan]

"I gathered as much, yes," Varric says scornfully. "Given how Justice stabbed her, the disapproval was pretty evident. As long as you keep it firmly in mind that you're going to have to share, I don't see the problem. You can have a wedding and babies and all that shite. Merrill is- was- very up for babies. I.... I suspect she will be again, by the time she's ready for sex anyway. And nothing would happen before then anyway, right?"

[GamesMaster]

"You sound like you want her to be stabbed," he moans. 

[Tethras Clan]

"I want her to be happy. It's clear enough that you help with that. So... I figure it's better to make that work, rather than just giving up," Varric replies. "I'm... not thrilled you... encouraged her to... what exactly?" he changes thoughts with a slight frown. "Actually, no, maybe I should ask Merrill to explain."

[GamesMaster]

He lowers his hands. "Don't you dare! She doesn't-- Varric, you can't let her know she has anything to do with my going away. It would shatter her."

[Tethras Clan]

"Right, because you fleeing without a word right after she asks a big favor of you wouldn't make her blame herself anyway?" the dwarf says with a glare.

[GamesMaster]

"Not right after," He argues. "I stayed the night through."

[Tethras Clan]

Varric stares at him. Sips his breakfast ale. Stares some more. Gives Anders plenty of time to mull that over.

[GamesMaster]

"Would I have spent the night with her curled up in my arms, staring at the ceiling and hating myself, if it was her fault?" he argues. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Because she- and Hawke for that matter- are such reasonable, logical people," Varric points out. "Hells, Hawke would blame herself for it, regardless. Somehow."

[GamesMaster]

"Better than what I'll do to her if I stay," he argues. "I can't-- women knock me over sideways, Varric, I can't handle that kind of pressure. I'll do anything for that future. Blackmail, kidnapping, anything."