Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Marian Hawke]

"Possibilities," she insists. "Options. Which one do you want? Who do you want for a child?"

She reaches up, then, and tugs at her face. There's a bright Iight -- but she doesn't vanish. Instead, she becomes herself: the piercings return, and the dyed hair, but otherwise she looks very similar. In her hand is a mask: her tattod face, screaming in fear. She offers it to him, swallowing. "Who do you want me to be?"

[Varric]

"Loved. Thriving. Challenged and content. Healthy. Happy. What will make you be those things?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Not this one," she says of the mask she's trying to hand him. "Liz, then. Make me Liz."

[Varric]

"Who is Liz? Is she all of you? Enough of you to be all those things? Does she have a family? Is she content with her life but still push herself to grow and love? Does she take time for herself?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Liz is who I was. Who I should have been. Your apprentice. Beth's sister, Carver's sister. I don't know how to be content but I can learn. Make me Liz."

[Varric]

"Is she all of who you were and should be? You've gone through a lot. Is there more to you? What about the life you're making with Cindy? What about the things you yearned for as Garrett? Why do you have to pick just one of these? Why can't you... blend?"

[Marian Hawke]

"I don't know how," she whispers. "I don't, I can't experiment. We have to save my girlfriend. And Helene."

[Varric]

Varric licks his lips, mind rapidly sorting through options. "How about... how about you decide to try. Don't go into this with the mindset that it's a one and done deal. You are the master of your own soul. You can be Liz but also Garrett. Or if that doesn't work, then you can be Garrett and also Liz. Or maybe a bit of Eli. Or whoever. You can change and grow, even after this. Just... I think the key thing for today is realizing that you can be more than... broken."

[Marian Hawke]

She shakes her head. "I can't be. But Liz could. She's a hero. She sacrifices herself. She's dignified in the face of death. She made Beth promise to hold onto the bundle you gave her because a chance at living was all she could give. She loves her family more than life itself."

[Varric]

Damn. Had a feeling that's who Liz was (Dutiful Daughter). "And none of that is bad, just... incomplete. You need to be more than just a hero. You need to be a person too."

[Marian Hawke]

"Garrett, then. He is a person. He has a girlfriend, he has friends, he fits in. He's happy. He goes on adventures. He might even be a masked hero."

[Varric]

"He also doesn't have a past. Or family. A purpose."

[Marian Hawke]

"What do you want," she whispers passionately. "My life was torn in three: before, after, and during. Which do you want? You're my... Something. Whatever you want, I will be it. I trust you. Just tell me straight."

[Varric]

Your something? Eh, fair enough for now. "Compromise. Or maybe a lack of it, depending on your mindset. I want you to be whole: person, daughter, hero, sister, and yes, even lover. And also maybe son and brother," he adds, brow furrowing a bit as he thinks of something. "You were very happy as Eli and Garrett."

[Marian Hawke]

"But I'm not whole. Weren't you listening? I'll never be whole. I need to be someone so I can pave over the cracks."