Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Bethany]

Bethany take a slow breath, a slight shudder to it. Without looking up, she reaches out her hand. "...how bad?" she asks in whisper.

[Carver Amell]

"How... how bad what?"

[Bethany]

"Do not lie to me." Strangely- worryingly- her tone isn't angry or firm. It's pleading. Desperate.

[Carver Amell]

"I-- I'm not!" he says, taking a step back. "Beth? What are you asking me?"

[Bethany]

"How bad are you hurt?" she snaps.

[Carver Amell]

"I-- I can cope," he says, swallowing. "It's fine. You don't have to-- I'm fine. It's fine. Please, Beth, please, I--"

[Bethany]

She finally looks up at him. "Really? It's fine? Then you won't mind handing me your knife and watching me cut myself?" Her face is a bit of a mess, tear streaked and damp.

[Carver Amell]

"No!" he blurts before he can stop himself. "I, I would never make you watch. But I... with Merrill. We used to do it together. It's different with you but, but..."

[Bethany]

"Oh... so as you as you didn't see, you wouldn't mind? Hand me your dagger and I'll grab my shower then. Any suggestions on where to cut? How deep would you recommend? Maybe I should ask Don to watch, that'd be fine, right?" she asks, twisting her own knife cruelly. 

[Carver Amell]

Carver swallows, looking down at his toes. "You're a healer," he says quietly. "You know where's safe. I... I won't stop you. As long as you come back to me after."

[Bethany]

Bethany stares for a long moment. "...you... you really believe that," she whispers numbly. "That it's... not a bad thing, even though..." If he'd let me do it then...

[Carver Amell]

He swallows again. "I wouldn't do it if it were... I haven't had a drink, not one drop, since. But I need something. Why is that so wrong?"

[Bethany]

"But it... because it's the same thing. As drinking I mean. It doesn't solve the problems, just masks the pain. And... and it can be dangerous if you overdo it. And it gets easier to overdo it because it's addictive," Bethany explains softly. She pauses, then pats the spot next to her. I'd love for him to hold me right now but I can't ask.

[Carver Amell]

He shifts a bit, not moving toward her. "But I know what I'm doing. I did it for ages and ages before I was caught before. I only messed up the once because I grabbed the wrong knife. I don't keep my adamantine knife anywhere nearby anymore, when I do it."

[Bethany]

Bethany smiles weakly. "It's too easy to make a mistake when you're... emotional. A mistake with this could kill you. And... gods, I'm sorry Carver, but given how you... went overboard with one harmful, risky coping strategy, it's very, very possible that... you could... have... if you'd reached for a knife instead of a bottle after- after seeing- in the market, then I can only pray that Miki would have been fast enough to get a healer.