Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

He winces. "I couldn't do that," he says, his voice perfectly flat. "Not to you."

[Bethany]

"I know you wouldn't mean to but... mistakes happen Carver." She swallows a few times. "And... and is it just me that would... make you not want that? Am I still the only thing you have that... means enough?"

[Carver Amell]

"Dad wouldn't be as... hurt, I think, as you would. He'd understand, at least a little."

[Bethany]

"...wow," Bethany says blankly. "Have you not been paying attention to... anything this week? Dad is spending fortunes, risking his life- and more, his mind- plus Helene's, to save Marian. And did you see what he did to restore Helene? Or how about when he died for us?"

[Carver Amell]

Carver flinches. "I... maybe I'm overestimating how upset you'd be," he admits.

[Bethany]

Bethany flinches as if slapped, then stills. "Alright. Instead of... of assuming... explain that please?"

[Carver Amell]

"Dad would be hurt. He'd probably try to drag me back to life," he admits. "But you'd... I thought, you'd never get over it. You'd blame yourself for the rest of your life, if I... if I didn't come back from that shower," he says, hunching his shoulders. "If you thought you'd pushed me into that. The same with... we fought. If you had any thinking that us fighting caused..." He turns away, holding up a hand to forestall questions. "I can't. I need a-- I'll be--" he manages, covering his mouth with his other hand as he fights off nausea.

[Bethany]

Not sure what he was trying to say, Bethany uses her best judgment- and her own bias- to fill in the blank. And so she quickly incants a Calm Emotions spell.

[Carver Amell]

He shudders, dropping to his knees instead of stumbling off to be sick, breathing deeply through his nose, letting the spell wash over him. "Sorry," he says, when he feels safe enough to drop his hand. "Thanks."

[Bethany]

Bethany relaxes a hair, having been worried about his reaction. "Of course," she says quietly. "And... yes. If I thought it was my fault, I'd hate myself forever. But if dad thought... if his promise to Marian to give her time caused your death, he'd never forgive himself either. Not ever."

[Carver Amell]

"I think he would," says Carver, softly. "Dad's really strong, in a... in a deep way. The whole time Helene was sick, he never stopped working to fix her. He didn't moan and weep and hurt himself and drink, he just got it done. When he came to hunt me down, he just took care of things, he didn't even seem ruffled. Surprised, maybe, but not upset. He's too strong for that."

[Bethany]

"Maybe. But just because he doesn't... break, doesn't mean he'd not... care. That it wouldn't... leave a crack that would never heal," Bethany says thoughtfully. "He... gods, he does the same damn thing you do!" Scowling, he can actually see her making a mental note to growl and scold their dad. "Act strong and don't show his pain so he can 'be there for us' instead of feeling his pain. Stupid, idiot men," she mutters.

[Carver Amell]

Carver flinches. "He doesn't hurt like this. I didn't say he doesn't care, he'd care, but he'd not break like this."

[Bethany]

"Well, he's older and had more time to...settle," Bethany allows. "So he's better at... managing, I guess. Also, not important. You. Cutting."

[Carver Amell]

"Yeah," he says, quietly. "I cleaned it and bandaged it. I'm fine. Really. So we can, we can talk about Don if you want."