Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Varric]

"Come in Helene," Varric calls after after a few moments of them dithering in the hallway. Footsteps too heavy for Carver and Bethany bounces when she's nervous. No-one else has access through the wards so...

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene lets out a soft moan, shuddering. They lower their head, pushing the door open with a trembling hand. 

[Varric]

"What's going-" Varric cuts off as he gets a look at them. "Hey, what's wrong? Take a seat and-" He rummages around for a moment in his desk. "I have a slate and some chalk here if you..."

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene shakes their head, wrapping their arms around themself as they pace into the room. "Th-th-this one," they stammer, shivering. "This unworthy one..."

[Varric]

"Stop. Take a deep breath. More than one if you need it. Go ahead and move around if you want, or take a seat. Speak or write, either is fine."

[Helene Dakesh]

They pace back and forth a couple of times before darting to grab the slate, nimble and quick. They stretch out on their stomach on the floor and begin to draw, using chalk against slate, an abstract piece: jagged lines, rough shading, angry, harsh lines, until finally they start to resolve into broken shards of pottery against a patterned floor, dissonant and jarring and angry. 

[Varric]

Varric had slowly moved, making care to not sneak up on them but also not be too jarring in his approach, so he can see what Helene has drawn. Looks... well, something has broken. Something emotional? Distressing. Almost violent. Pattern on the ground- regular, even, orderly. Helene? Something broke against them- or was broken by them? Tutoring Carver, so... "You had an argument with Carver, a bad one, and now you're worried?"

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene shoves the slate away, shuddering again. "This one is unworthy," they whisper. 

[Varric]

"Nonsense, you're plenty worthy. I wouldn't be your friend if you weren't," Varric says bluntly. "Everyone fights with Carver. It's almost his hobby. We're working on it."

[Helene Dakesh]

"Th-this one greatly upset h-h-h-h-him." They shudder again. "This one... this one has failed."

[Varric]

"He does that a lot too," Varric assures them. "The only one he doesn't get 'greatly upset' with on a regular basis is Beth." Though... less and less with me, come to think of it (since Dad. Need to follow up on that). "You haven't failed. A slight stumble, nothing so dire as..." He gestures slightly at the slate. 

[Helene Dakesh]

"This? This is not-- this is not today. This is always."

[Varric]

"Really? I don't recall being broken yet, which would disprove that statement rather neatly," Varric counters. 

[Helene Dakesh]

"This is this one," says Helene, very softly. 

[Varric]

"..." It takes Varric a second or two to click. "You're not broken Helene. Chipped maybe. A little wobbly, I'll allow. But broken implies that you can't function in the day-to-day. Which, yes, you can. I see it all the time."