Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Varric]

"Oh?" Varric asks curiously.

[Carver Amell]

"Brianne is... I know Beth likes her, but she's... cold. Hard. I bet you she'd sell Beth up the river if she thought it'd get her a fix faster."

[Varric]

"Gotcha. Yeah, the two of us had... a chat when you two brought me in to help out," Varric says with a thin, sharp smile. "Living on her own, having to do whatever she needs to survive... I get why she is who she is. Doesn't mean I want Beth to be like that."

[Carver Amell]

Carver nods. "Only I don't know what about whoring makes you that way so..."

[Varric]

"It's not the whoring, it's the street-living. It's having to scramble for food, never having anyone you can trust around you. It's knowing you're a bad night from being homeless and without income- or dead. She could have been a pickpocket, a mugger, a drug peddler... what she did wasn't near as important as how she had to do it- alone and without hope or trust."

[Carver Amell]

Carver winces. "So I-- I am bad for her," he says slowly. "Because I don't trust her, not really, not to take care of herself. I make her feel alone."

[Varric]

"Hardly. She'd be a broken shell if she didn't have you. You might not be able to trust she'll look after herself but..." Varric shrugs. "Truth? She can't. Or won't, which amounts to the same. Besides, you hovering and the like might piss her off but... well, I've heard the both of you argue about it off and on before. She's told you to stop, told you she doesn't like it, told you to back off or calm down. But she's never told you to go away. Maybe for the moment, maybe for a certain thing- like how you mentioned she didn't want you guarding the Cat while she worked- but she still wants to spend time with you. Still wants you around. Alone is hardly what you make her feel."

[Carver Amell]

He nods. "That's why you won't let me go adventuring," he reasons. 

[Varric]

"One reason, yes. My reasons also include that I'd miss you, that I worry about you being off on your own, that I'd like for you to finish your training first, and that Merrill would go to pieces- she needs more time before her heart could trust you'd come back." He shrugs. "Plus other, smaller, reasons."

[Carver Amell]

Carver is silent for a bit; promisingly, he finally gets moving, pacing back and forth as he thinks. Finally he asks, "What if... What if I want some time away from Beth?"

[Varric]

"That's another story entirely then," Varric says slowly. "Some of my objections still apply but... Let's talk it out. What did you have in mind?"

[Carver Amell]

"It's just... it's like... it's like there's two mes. On the one hand I need to be Beth's Shield, I need to serve Vangal by serving Beth, I need to keep her safe. That drives me crazy constantly, and we keep having fights, and I feel guilty for even thinking of leaving. But-- but-- but you seem like you like the other me better. The me that doesn't want to be her dog. But that me is sad and hurts and really really misses when we were closer and... and I start to wonder if we're even twins anymore, she's changed so much and I've changed and... and if we weren't fighting all the time and I wasn't going out of my mind worrying about her all the time and feeling guilty, maybe I could figure out who to be besides her dog."

[Varric]

I meant about the logistics of whatever trip you want to go on but (this was good)... "Some of that is... well, people grow up. Even twins make their own lives eventually. I think you underestimate your bond. I think that if something happened, each of you would be the first thing on the other's mind. But stepping away from a problem, from a puzzle, can be a big help in solving it." Varric thinks a moment, then nods slowly. "Think a month'd do it?"

[Carver Amell]

"Probably," he says, with a sigh. "But... Merrill."

[Varric]

"Well... got two options there. She could go with- which has some complications in regards to her schooling and with your sister wanting to go too. Or she could stay- which has to deal with her abandonment issues. But... a month isn't that long, not to an elf. And if you were good about writing her- I have a slate that you could borrow, common magical item businesses use to send short messages from one place to another- I think she'd be fine. She'd still have a home, still have her lessons and the two of us for stability." Varric shrugs.