Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran blinks a few times. "That... makes a few kinds of sense, I suppose. I assume this is about your, ah, age and gender?"

[Helene Dakesh]

"Ah, not exactly. This one's age is a burden from Alydra, and thus, cannot be removed or mitigated without betraying Alydra. But this one can change this one's body to suit this one's gender identity, and this one intends to relieve some of the other defects of this one's physical form."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran flicks his gaze up and down Helene. "Other defects? You appear hale and whole to my eyes, though admittedly I am speaking from a very limited view."

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one-- well, it soon will not matter, but, this one suffers from an affliction of the mind. This one intends to see if this one can cure it using ritual magics. And, aside from that, this one will remove outward signifiers of gender from this one's body entirely. This one will no longer be misgendered."

[Tethras Clan]

"That seems..." Zevran falters a little. "I had gotten the impression, though I am hardly fit to judge myself, that healing rituals are very delicate and often dangerous things."

[Helene Dakesh]

"They are," they agree, nodding. 

[Tethras Clan]

"And that magics that deal with the mind even more so? Like... a lot more so?"

[Helene Dakesh]

"They are. It would be beneficial if Honored Varric would check this one's work, but he refuses to have anything to do with any such ritual, so, this one has had to work on that portion of ritual in secret."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran blinks rapidly. "He won't? He doesn't? Why? What's the second one do?"

[Helene Dakesh]

"Ah, he believes that this one is... that it is better to suffer under the effects of this one's condition than to risk misfire or damage. This one disagrees, however. This one explained that it is this one's decision what risks are acceptable, but he did not see things the same way. This one attempted to explain about autonomy and consent, but..."

[Tethras Clan]

"Well, it's true he can't forbid you from doing this but the flipside is that you can't require him to help. Or even approve," Zevran points out. "From what I've seen of the good dwarf, the idea of risking one's mind would be... utterly unfathomable to him so I can't say I'm surprised. What, ah, what sort of effects and risks are we talking about?"

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one is certain the risks are minimal. And, to be safe, this one has left instruction that if this one is mentally incapacitated, Honored Varric is to be given charge of decisions made as to this one's well being. He will surely work to reverse the ritual should the worst happen." A pause. "Or to end this one's incarnation. This one will likely be granted another lifetime if that were to become necessary."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran stares at them flatly. "Se- Helene, what in the name of Ciren's throbbing Clit is wrong that you would risk that!"

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene winces. "This one-- this one is reasonably certain such a document will not be required. This one calculates the odds at, perhaps, one in fifty, or one in one hundred. Perhaps even as low as one in two hundred. This one simply believes in being prepared, as this one has no kin, and therefore, should such an event occur..."

[Tethras Clan]

"I cannot help but note that you have avoided speaking of the condition you seek to fix all three times I've broached it," Zevran notes.