Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Varric]

"Only in the short term. I think... Actions have more weight than words or thoughts. Not to say they don't have impact of their own, just less. So... I would suggest that you try to talk more and act second. Not a cure-all but might help."

[Carver Amell]

He shakes his head. "Words got me into this."

[Varric]

"No, actions did. Getting drunk, deciding to run, cutting yourself... those were all actions, not words," Varric says patiently. 

[Carver Amell]

"But it wasn't being drunk that hurt Merrill, it's what I said to her," he protests. "Even if I don't get drunk, I say things wrong a lot."

[Varric]

"Never that badly though," Varric points out. "And it wasn't... what she did was far out of proportion to what you said. If she'd run home and locked herself in Beth's room to cry, that'd be understandable. If she'd come home and trashed your room... bitchy but also understandable. Gotten drunk herself, even decided to have sex with someone else to, I dunno, prove she didn't care you dumped or that she can be fine without you, not great but understandable. Repeating a ritual that she knew almost killed her as a child? Fucking stupid and entirely unacceptable a reaction. In this case, it was her actions that were too far."

[Carver Amell]

"Okay," he says, nodding. "Okay. I have to... I have to get over what happened last week. It's... It was a lot of things, all at once, and it's awful, but it's not... that doesn't happen very often. That's a once in a lifetime kind of thing. I need to focus on what's happened since. Right?"

[Varric]

"I wouldn't say 'get over' myself. That phrase makes it sound like you're overreacting by hurting. Like you should just brush it off and swallow it down. You need to deal with it, yes. But that could be hard and long- like we've both said, last week was... a massive load of rotting dragon shite. All sorts of things happened and even the good stuff happened in a bad way. But I'd say it's... working on getting better," Varric agrees. 

[Carver Amell]

Carver nods. "I... I have to work on preventing what happened today though. Not what happened last week. And... I think... I talked to Beth, like I said, and, she, I guess she didn't believe me before when I said it's not bad, but now she does? Or -- she believes I'm not lying, I guess? So maybe that helped. I was... I was going to offer to just, tell her when I did it, but, then things got intense and.."

[Varric]

Doesn't think it's that bad? What? "Why do you think she's okay with you... hurting yourself?" the dwarf asks carefully.

[Carver Amell]

"I-- I don't know," he says, a little frustration leaking through. "I can't tell what she thinks. I just, I tried to tell her how it was, and she made this weird face and then she I guess... I think she thought I was lying, but I wasn't lying, so now she knows I'm not lying, but she still disagrees?"

[Varric]

"...not lying about what? Exactly," Varric says, getting rather confused.

[Carver Amell]

"About cutting not being all that bad."

[Varric]

"That's... abrupt? What did she say?"

[Carver Amell]

"She, she still tried to talk me out of it, but she was shocked that I really believe it's not bad."

[Varric]

"Oh. That sounds more like she's accepted that you honestly don't see the problem, not that she does. Probably a relief that it's just a disagreement as opposed to you lying to cover yourself. She... Beth's got some trust issues," Varric says with a wince. Dust choke that dried up bitch, should never have been allowed near (my) kids.