Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

"Most of the day," he admits. "It's, she... she feels better when I'm around."

[Varric]

"Maybe, but that's got to be a terrible strain on you. She'll be a little mopey at first, but she'd get over it quick enough. She was fine with you going to Raplin's Oak, as long you kept in touch and promised to come back. She'll be fine with this," Varric assures him.

[Carver Amell]

"Wait, fine with what? I can't go to Raplin's Oak or anything. I have to be here in case she needs something."

[Varric]

Varric blinks. "I... I had just meant she was fine with you going to Raplin's before, months ago, so you having your mornings back while a healer looks after her shouldn't be a big deal," he says slowly.

[Carver Amell]

"Oh. right." His shoulders sag as he stands down. "Sorry."

[Varric]

"It's fine," Varric waves off Carver's reaction. "If I thought you'd go for it, I would suggest you go on another trip. Maybe. I... I hate to say it, but I am leaning on you some. I... there's only so many hours in the day and I can't devote enough to any of you without taking from another." He takes a deep, steadying breath.

[Carver Amell]

"And Beth and Merrill deserve it more," he jumps in. "I know they do. I fucked up. That's why I've been trying to cope on my own."

[Varric]

"No they don't," Varric snaps. "I just... you never ask. It makes it easier to ignore the fact that I know you need help anyway. Marian and Merrill might... need more help than you or Beth but... you need it more than Beth. She's hurting, yes, but she's hurting because you, Marian and Merrill are hurting more than anything else. So... helping you, is helping her." Hopefully that helps convince him a little.

[Carver Amell]

Carver winces. "There will... there will be time to fix me later, I think. Once Merrill's well. Once Marian's awake and okay. Once... all this resolves."

[Varric]

"Why wait? You hurting now isn't needed. It's just cruelty," Varric says softly. "Merrill might grumble a little, but it's not healthy for you to both to be so... dependant on just each other. Or maybe not dependant, exactly but..." He shakes his head a little. "I was thinking about suggesting another trip for you before Marian showed up- I'd worried about this before, but I thought I had time." He smiles grimly. "You never have as much time as you think to defuse a bomb."

[Carver Amell]

Carver nods slowly. "and I'm a bomb. Because... because this is getting worse, and I keep thinking I can wait and then, it turns out, I can't, so much, and..."

[Varric]

Varric nods a little. "Yeah. Emotional problems are all bombs really. Beth's need to... not so much do what she wants as not do what someone tells her to do. Merrill's fragile self-worth and dependence on your acceptance. My... inability to talk to people about... emotions."

[Carver Amell]

Carver frowns, then. "That's... a problem? That you can't... that you don't talk about this stuff? It's not... it seems... it seems easier, to me. You just.. fix things. You don't whine about it."

[Varric]

"Except a lot of the time, fixing requires- or at least would benefit a great deal- from me being able to talk freely about emotions and intimacy. If I was more comfortable with talking about this stuff, then maybe I wouldn't fail the two of you so much. The four of you."

[Carver Amell]

"Fail? You don't... I'm the one that fucks up, not you."