The Silver Queen [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"There are ring you can get that prevent such things as well- Isabela has one in fact. Well, it's not a ring but..." Zevran shrugs a bit. "And I suppose the more partners, the more risk, but it also increases the odds of finding love, passion and joy. Of having family."

[Carver Amell]

"And of abandoning them." It's an old, tired argument, one Carver never seems to want to have in full -- but one he can't seem to quite resist starting. "Sorry, that was-- nevermind." Predictably, he backs down. 

[Tethras Clan]

"Death isn't abandonment, Carver," Zevran says, not letting it go. "She'd be here if she could be. So would Varric. And... and the others," he says, unable to say the names of his lovers.

[Carver Amell]

"And she might be alive if my-- nevermind. Just drop it."

This is the third time he's almost said something to this effect, of course. Normally he walks away, but as he's searching the cabinets in the bathroom, he's nowhere to run. 

[Tethras Clan]

"If I had been there? If you had been with your mother? If they had been just a little bit luckier, a little faster? If the necromancer had gloated just a little longer, been a little less prepared? But why stop there? What if I had a kinder brother? If Isabela-" He cuts off, taking a deep breath. "'If' doesn't help."

[Carver Amell]

"That wasn't the point." His voice is rough, ragged, as he paws through a drawer. "I just... if Malcolm..."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran turns, facing Carver directly. "If what Carver?" he asks firmly.

[Carver Amell]

"If Marian's father hadn't abandoned us," he says, his voice subdued. "If he'd been there to help look after mother, to... I was a boy. I didn't know what I was doing. Maybe she wouldn't have gotten so bad."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran stills. "...who wouldn't have gotten so bad?" he asks carefully.

[Carver Amell]

"Mother. It-- nevermind."

[Tethras Clan]

Ah. "Yes. I... could see how having had someone to lean on back then would have... changed a great deal. Hawke managed to find someone but you were not so lucky," Zevran says, relaxing somewhat. 

[Carver Amell]

"If you want to call it that," he says, a little bitterly. "She left you when she died. She left me long before."

Then he shakes his head, taking a deep breath. "But that's in the past. It's over. She's gone. There's no point rehashing it."

[Tethras Clan]

"I am glad you are not the ship healer."

[Carver Amell]

Carver tilts his head, looking back through the doorway. "Huh?"

[Tethras Clan]

"Oh well, arm's broken, too late to do anything, I'll just let it fester."