The Silver Queen [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"Aside from that she blamed herself, not you," Zevran agrees with a faint smile. "That seems to be a common theme really- martyrdom is a shared trait among the Hawke children, from what I've witnessed and heard."

[Carver Amell]

"I miss Beth, every day," he whispers. "I know I should miss them both but... Beth was half of me, and some days I still can't believe she's gone. I was worried she'd feel betrayed we weren't identical anymore, but she was so gracious about it..."

[Tethras Clan]

So yes, Carver was misborn to a female body. "Ha- Marian never mentioned it," he comments softly. "Always you were her brother, she never... hinted otherwise, even when most upset with you. I... I do not know if that helps but..."

[Carver Amell]

"It does," he says in a relieved sigh. "Beth neither. Both of them just... accepted me. They let me forget. There's plenty of boy-girl twins in the world, it's not so strange."

[Tethras Clan]

"Not at all," Zevran agrees. "And it does explain why are you are so, ah, militant about being seen as masculine. Much like how ma'bela thrusts her independence ahead of her like a weapon." He winces a little. "Or I my charm."

[Carver Amell]

"I guess... I guess sometimes it seems like, liking guys -- being with you-- is almost like... well it's... it's not what Carver Hawke should be doing."

[Tethras Clan]

Wrinkling his nose, Zevran scoffs. "Carver Hawke is a hero, a champion of Vangal's ideals if not His faith, and any that thinks less of you for whom you love merely shames themselves."

[Carver Amell]

"It's not natural," he says quietly. "Not for a man."

[Tethras Clan]

"That rather depends on who you ask, doesn't it," Zevran counters. 

[Carver Amell]

"How do you mean? It's obviously unnatural. Animals don't  do it like that, two boys together."

[Tethras Clan]

"Some do," Zevran says promptly. His voice saddens a little. "Merrill... Merrill told me one afternoon. Some birds will do so, even taking care of chicks together. Ummm. Some primates- monkeys and such, whatever they are. She said they were similar to varana in the same way catfolk are like cats. Others as well, I can't recall. Females together as well."

[Carver Amell]

"Really?" he asks softly. "You're not just... saying that?"

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran shakes his head. "I can't recall the exact reason why she bro- wait, no, I do. Polyamory. She... Merrill struggled with understanding convention... decorum. Acceptable custom and manners. She often took her cues from the spirits and animals, because they were more willing to allow her to study them. Evidently, having monogamous mates is less common than not doing so in the wild." He smiles faintly. "I had tried to feel her out about whether she was actually okay with- Marian not being exclusive with her and that lead to a two hour lesson on animal mating habits."

[Carver Amell]

Carver nods, slowly. "I just.. don't want... I don't want to do it wrong. I don't want to squander this chance I've been given, I don't want to be chased away from Astea the way my family was torn apart..."

[Tethras Clan]

"Understandable. Losing forever is a big thing to risk," Zevran says soberly. "Even if you can have another forever in its place. We'll find a theologian to ask about it, I promise."