Blood from Stone [AU]

[Varric]

Yeah, guess we need to. "It's not... I don't blame you for being... bitter. I should have tried harder to rescue you. I should have gotten a professional to do the divining, I should have tried more than once, I should have... But I didn't. I tried to move on and create a life for the family I had left. But you're still part of us. We want you with us too."

[Marian Hawke]

"It's not..." She takes a deep breath, lets it out. "I was meant to have died. I don't blame you for.... But I thought I could add something to the family and I just can't. I was right to stay away."

[Varric]

"Liz, you don't have to buy your way in. You're family. Sure, if you want..." He pauses, studying his apprentice thoughtfully. "You want to have something to do? Some way to contribute? Can't say that the idea is a bad one- having duty, a job, something- can provide structure and some satisfaction to your day. Plus, having a wage will give you some independence. Having access to family funds is well and fine- and you'll always have such- but having your own coin in your pocket is a nice feeling."

[Marian Hawke]

"I can't," she says automatically. "I don't have Good Days often enough."

[Varric]

Varric scoffs. "Might not be up for a store clerk position, no, but there's plenty of other types of jobs. Bookkeeping for one. Not uncommon for smaller businesses to have an outside contractor do their books for them. Minimal socialization and you can mostly set your own hours, outside of meetings. Or you could do translations. Or you can do number dredge work for one of the academies. Work as an assistant to someone, maybe part time."

[Marian Hawke]

She flinches. "When I fail I will bring shame to the family. I can't, Varric."

[Varric]

That gets an actual laugh from Varric. "Please- I've never asked Helene, but I can say for the rest of us? Our first jobs... well, let's just say that as long as you don't start a zombie uprising, you'll be fine." Second-rate smash and grab thief slash paladin in training, wh- (shudder) prostitute while underage, blacksmith whose crowning glory was a sodding horseshoe with a point to it and... come to think of it, Merrill's never had a job. Hmm.

[Marian Hawke]

"Our clan has two Lights," she points out. "People care now."

[Varric]

Blinking, Varric rolls his eyes. Swear to the gods, I forget that half the time. Working with them has taken any shine I'd seen on them before (not much different than a guild meeting). "One Light, technically, given that Adonis needs to keep a degree of separation. Won't do either of us good if people start to think of him as my Pet Kitty Light or whatever bullshit they come up with." He waves that off. "Anyway, people might care, but I don't. But if it really worries you... who says that Liz has to get a job?"

[Marian Hawke]

"I... I guess, but that assumes I can keep it under wraps if I have a breakdown. I didn't last ten minutes with you."

[Varric]

"You had a... moment of distraction that caused you to mistime a step. That's not something that'll have a noticeable impact on bookkeeping or other scribe work."

[Marian Hawke]

"But when it goes wrong I might say or do something that gives away my identity, as I did before."

[Varric]

"Well... you could work for someone that... could cover for you. Or knows already."

[Marian Hawke]

"But if they know who I am then they'll judge me," she sighs.

[Varric]

"Okay, I can think of two ways of handling that right now. One, get someone that will factor in your background into their judgement. Or two, work for someone that already knows you so no judgement needed."