The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Varric]

''You're good, sure, but that can fail. Or be misread. What was the result?''

[Helene Dakesh]

"This one's shell is not defective." A flat tone, eyes distant. "This one's shell is as it was meant to be. There was no mishap."

[Varric]

''Helene... why are you so damned determined to be flawed? Why do you want to have to be.... treated this way?''

[Helene Dakesh]

"Because... because..."

Helene quivers, taking a deep breath. "Because... there is... there is a defect. And this one... If this one's shell were to be defective, or this one's mind, or there were some damage from the near-drowning, or there were some condition that could be treated, could be cured, then this one... If this one could be assured this one's soul were correct, that it was only a passing defect due to this one's incarnation being flawed, this one could be sure that the next incarnation would be better, would be healed. This one would not... if this one's soul is damaged, this one..."

[Varric]

If this one's soul... ''I... hells. I can understand why that would... be of concern. But...'' He smiles a little. ''Seeker... the gods don't send their Herald to worry about anything less than legends, heroes, saints or better. And Whitebeard the Cryptic as good as admitted that you are of great interest to them. Whatever is up with you? It's not anything that makes you less than really fucking valuable to Alydra.''

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene swallows, letting out a small whimper. 'A life would not be wasted for a lesson.' 

Helene takes a deep, shaky breath. "The first time this one met this one's mentor, the mentor said... there were reasons for what had been done to this one. For what this one was. This one has not been entirely certain it was not a hallucination but... this one... this one suggested that perhaps this life is intended to teach another, and the mentor agreed it was possible."

[Varric]

''...neat? I mean, you are a widely published and noted scholar so I would think you've taught a lot of people over your lifetime already. I mean, the earliest paper of yours I've noticed is... what, forty years ago?'' A click. ''Wait, you mean that you think you were given your... fits and such in order to allow you to... teach someone?'

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene gives a small nod, then, hesitantly, adds, "Someone sent by my mentor."

[Varric]

Varric's eye twitches. ''I can safely assure you that no.''

[Helene Dakesh]

"Can you?" asks Helene quietly.

[Varric]

Unless Baldy and Pushy wants my boon to be getting to beat the piss out of them, it had best be wrong. ''The only lesson that would teach me- the deliberate abuse, torture and sabotage of a brilliant mind and good person for my unasked for benefit- is that I need to find a new patron deity. I like to think that the Divinity of the Mind would be smarter than to make that sort of mistake so... yes.''

[Helene Dakesh]

Helene makes a small whimper, ducking her head. "Understood."

[Varric]

''Besides, Graybeard wasn't interested in me that much. I was... conveniently placed and skilled to help you.'' Though there was that line about collaboration... hmm (later)... ''No, this is about you and your value, not me.''

[Helene Dakesh]

"Value," she whispers. "This one would have more value in another shell."

[Varric]

''By what standard? How can you be sure you aren't exactly the mind that Alydra wants? And the mind as filtered though your current shell would be very different than you in another shell.''