The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Marian Hawke]

"I never know exactly what I mean," she mutters. "Whatever I say seems wrong."

[Varric]

Varric smiles faintly. "I dunno about that. I can recall a few words of yours that seemed to work just fine."

[Marian Hawke]

"Like?"

[Varric]

"Besides 'remember me?'" He asks with a smirk, always one to appreciate good banter. "There was whatever you said that got Haliel to start on the path to realizing she can offer her life, not just her death. What you just said about Ricky, about legacy and questions, was pretty damn good."

[Marian Hawke]

She looks away, nodding. "And... I guess whatever I said about your offer still applying must have been right. You didn't panic and I didn't -- well, I did go back, but I kept thinking about it."

[Varric]

Varric nods slowly, eyes closing briefly. "I should have pushed. No, not pushed. Should have offered more. Asked more. I get focused too much at times."

[Marian Hawke]

"It's not your fault. And it wouldn't have changed anything. That night I came in and asked, that was... that was the night it all happened, with Bartrand and everything. It was already done by then."

[Varric]

"Not my fault," Varric echoes. "Wish it was that easy."

[Marian Hawke]

"It is. It's my fault, Varric."

[Varric]

"I get that in my head. Guilt and regret are stubborn, messy, illogical things."

[Marian Hawke]

"Yeah," she whispers, looking down at Bitty Baby. "Regret's a hell of a thing."

[Varric]

"I can't regret him," Varric says firmly. "Not even sure I'd want to change things, because then he'd not be him. Doesn't make a lot of sense really."

[Marian Hawke]

"I don't regret saving him," she agrees. "But if we'd been faster, maybe his mother would be alive to care for him."

[Varric]

"Maybe so," Varric allows. "Or maybe they'd have both died instead. Or we all would have."

[Marian Hawke]

"...I was surprised I woke up," she admits. "I thought for sure... As I passed out, I had this strong, comfortable sense that I'd done the right thing. That I'd saved the baby, taken the taint into myself. Maybe even saved Bianca. That was enough. I thought that was all for me."