The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Merrill]

"Oh." Merrill looks both sad and a bit worried at that.

[Carver Amell]

She chews her lip, shifting a little. "Oh, um, did you get everyone's names?"

[Merrill]

The elf merely shakes her head, still looking worried and preoccupied.

[Carver Amell]

"Oh! Okay. Um." She looks around, then, realizing how few people are around at the moment. "Well, the dwarf is Varric, and by him are Helene -- dressed as a gnome, um, oh, because we're all in disguise, but-- and Bells. This is Hunter," she adds, gesturing to the pup. "And i'm..."

She shifts a little, swallowing, a little uncomfortable. "I'm Lady Carol zi'Amell," she says, her voice dropping to more of a whisper.

[Merrill]

Merrill just nods, with no sign of any recognition whatsoever in her eyes. "I'm..." She hesitates, glancing around discreetly as if looking for lurkers. "M-Merrill,."

[Carver Amell]

Carol nods, her voice still a whisper as she forces it out. "Are you also in hiding?"

[Merrill]

She looks a bit puzzled for a moment, then shrugs. "No... It's just... F-freaks don't get n-names. Not real p-people names."

[Carver Amell]

"Everyone has a name," Carol whispers, still staring into the distance. "Even if they hate it, it's their name."

[Merrill]

"I hate the name they made me use." Her whisper has turned harsh, bitter. "Thank you for letting me change it back. Having the right name... It helps."

[Carver Amell]

"I wish I had another name," admits Carol. "My sister calls me Car. Car is better."

[Merrill]

"What name would you like most?" She asks curiously.

[Carver Amell]

"I-- I don't have a name I like," she admits. "I just... I hate being Lady Carol."

[Merrill]

"But you like Car better?" Merrill probes, wanting very much to be able to help her like the human helped her. "Is it because it's shorter?"

[Carver Amell]

"N-no... it just... I don't know... it's just... Lady Carol is... so..." 

She closes her eyes, swallowing hard. "Ladies behave themselves and are poised and delicate and patient and kind and sweet and generous and never make a mess or... or anything... and I'm just, I'm not, I'm never going to be... that... and so I ... I wish I was someone else."

[Merrill]

Merrill nods slowly. "Like... like how... M-M-moonssssstruck!" She gasps a bit, fresh tears springing forth again as she rocks slightly. "M-means... addled and... dangerous and... w-w-wrong h-headed."