The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Varric]

Dammit, dammit, dammit (why didn't I tell Lightsong to stay close?) she- fine. With noticeable awkwardness that only enforces the sincerity of the action, the dwarf moves forward to pull Marian into a hug. "Yes, precious," he mutters firmly.

[Marian Hawke]

Marian sobs on his shoulder, surprised at how much the gesture helps comfort her, helps to ease the broken places inside her. 

"Why can't you just let me die," she whispers. "Why won't you give up on me?"

[Varric]

"Because..." Varric scowls, various drives in him fighting it out. "Because... if I could make the trade, I'd have a little sister instead of an older brother," he finally mumbles, the heat of his face tangible against her neck.

[Marian Hawke]

"I am the worst sister in history," she warns him. "Look at how I keep fucking up Beth."

[Varric]

"Beth isn't exactly Loving Lucy either," Varric replies softly, referring to a popular children's story character. "Also thought she came off as some kind of aberration anyway. Lucy, not Beth."

[Marian Hawke]

She takes a few deep breaths then, the tears slowly tapering off until she finally pulls back to wipe at her eyes again. "I'm sorry," she says, quietly.

[Varric]

"Work is always the hardest before a break-through, material is always the densest the night before a test and so forth," Varric says with a shrug, though he can't hide how awkward he feels. If Marian thinks about it, she can probably count on both hands the number of times Varric has touched someone more than a handshake... probably with an entire hand to spare. "Worth the effort though. You."

[Marian Hawke]

"Please," she whispers, wiping at her eyes again. "Please, stop it. I can't... I can't live up to your expectations."

[Varric]

"Marian... yes, yes you can," he says gently, digging out a handkerchief. Thankfully, the tavern provides some for eating, so he hadn't needed to use his, so it's clean. "And if you can't, if you stumble or even fall... then we pull you back up. Same as you do for us."

[Marian Hawke]

She dabs at her eyes, taking another deep breath. "You're really not mad? About any of it?"

[Varric]

"Upset and frustrated. But I'm not angry, no." He runs a hand through his hair. "Only time I've been angry with you since we've met is when I decked you on the tower. And that was just for a moment and caused by terror more than anything else."

[Marian Hawke]

"By... terror?" she asks, slowly, clearly re-contextualizing the whole interaction in her mind. He wasn't furious so much as scared? Like me?

[Varric]

"Top five most terrifying events of my life, yeah. And that includes a lich, two dragons and... other stuff," he finishes with a pained look.

[Marian Hawke]

She glances away then, chewing her lower lip. "Sometimes at night when I can't sleep, all I can hear is 'stupid, selfish bitch' over and over in my head," she whispers.

[Varric]

Varric winces. "I... That's... definitely not in my top five proudest actions," he says carefully. "I... I can't say I was lying or didn't mean it. But I wish I had... I should... done better somehow. I don't know. I was scared and I lashed out to vent some of it."