The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[NPCs]

"Well, sounds like at least some of his technique was alright, but..." Roland smiles kindly. "Truth be told, Carver, not having much of a clue about sex at your age is pretty much the norm." He purses his lips, considering. "Actually... I think I'll be gathering you and your sisters- maybe Merrill too come to think of it- and giving a little talk on this. Make sure all of you are were you should be on the basics. Gods only knows what the lot of you have been taught and I owe Mal that much and more for sure."

[Carver Amell]

Carver nods, looking relieved. "Okay. That sounds good."

[NPCs]

Catching Varric's eye over Carver's shoulder to signal him to return, conversation shifts instead to general courting advice. What kind of gifts types of women like, how to figure out what type of woman a woman is so you can make some guesses on their preferences, how to ask women out and so forth. Varric is mildly helpful in this, if only in providing a counterweight to Roland's more vigorous pursuit style. After card afternoon ends, Roland heads off to find Marian, leaving Carver to inform Beth about their sex ed class tomorrow after breakfast... 

[Carver Amell]

But there's something else on Carver's mind as he approaches his twin, making sure she's alone -- soushi-hime is great and all, but he's not comfortable talking about this in front of her. Luckily, he catches Beth reading alone in her room; he moves to sit near her, worrying at his lower lip.

"Can we... Can I... talk about something? And can you just.. just listen? Not try to judge me or yell at me or tell me how wrong it is but just, just listen? I want to... I've never... I've not talked about it before and I... you used to be... I used to be able to tell you things. And you... you won't understand but I want to try anyway. If that's okay?"

[Bethany]

Beth stares at Carver for a moment, then nods slowly. "Umm. Okay. I do want us to be able to talk about serious things again so... okay. Just... I might need to... step out for a moment or two if I get emotional," she warns Carver. "Or get up and pace or something. I get... sharp when I'm upset, so I need to work it out in some fashion."

[Carver Amell]

He nods, swallowing hard. "I just... I wanted to... you've... I know you... You said you've fooled around before? Some? With, with Shan and... stuff? I wanted to... I wanted to tell you about... what I did. With, um, with Jadan. I wanted someone to know who, who knows about stuff. I'm... you and everyone keep saying it was bad but I... I want to... it's just, I know I'm only fifteen but you're also fifteen and if you knew what it was like maybe you would understand what I... why I... any of this?"

[Bethany]

Beth's expression grows strained as Carver rambles and she takes a deep breath. "I- you said just listen earlier: do you want me to give feedback at all or... just listen?"

[Carver Amell]

"I want.... I want you to hear the whole thing before you judge. If you can. Okay? Then I want your feedback on how it is, but try to... try to put aside... everything else. It doesn't matter. I won't-- Jadan won't want me like this, I can't ever go back. But I need to know about sex, about whether what we did is okay or not. For, for the future."

[Bethany]

"Okay, so... you just want my take on the sex itself? Maybe I should... pretend it was someone else? Could- could you maybe call him by another name for this? It would help me... separate things. If you're willing," she adds quickly.

[Carver Amell]

Carver blushes. "Um. I can try? or just s-say he?"

[Bethany]

"That would be great too," Beth agrees with a faint smile. "Thanks."

[Carver Amell]

Carver gives a brief, grateful smile, then glances away, taking a deep breath as he prepares to talk about things. 

"When he... The first time. The first time we...did anything. He told me that he was glad we were engaged, that he was looking forward to marrying me, but he was concerned because I didn't seem happy. That he didn't want to pressure me into anything. I tried to explain that I'm just... that I'm never happy. And he said he was sorry to hear that. That he worried about me, that he wanted me to be happy, that he wanted us to be happy together. And he offered... Since we're engaged, he offered to make me feel good. Physically. So that maybe it would help my mood, maybe it would help me look forward to our marriage."

He takes a deep breath, pausing before he continues, glancing at Beth to see how she's handling it. 

[Bethany]

Beth nods encouragingly at him, smile welded in place. In all fairness, sex really can improve my mood if it goes well. And given how charming he is, I wouldn't be surprised if he was skilled enough at it for it to be good nearly all the time. Probably unnecessarily, she gestures at him to continue instead of responding verbally.

[Carver Amell]

Carver closes his eyes, turning his head slightly away once more. "He.. touched my breast," he whispers, cheeks burning a bit. "With his... with his fingers, um, he kept his gloves on but he, he ran his thumb over my.. over my nipple. It felt good. Really good. He um, he rubbed my earlobe as well, with  his other hand. And I... physically, I reacted. I wanted more. I wanted him to touch me. I begged him for more, and he, he touched me over my underpants, rubbed me some. He kept whispering to me the whole time, calling me his precious, his darling, his beloved fiance. Telling me soon we would be wed, that soon I would be his wife. And I... I wanted to be his wife. He told me he loved me and I felt... safe. Happy. Good. And I wanted him to... to fuck me. But he wouldn't. He touched me until I, there was this explosion of good feelings, and then he pet my hair and held me while I came back to myself. And then I went to my room. And that's when I... Afterward, thinking about it, I felt sick. I kept thinking about him calling me his wife, saying I was his little lady, his darling. I felt sick and wrong. So I went to take a bath, and I just felt worse and worse-- low, empty, flat. I wanted to hurt myself. So I took my knife and... and... well, you came in shortly after."

[Bethany]

Beth had to run the gamut from flush to pale and back again as Carver recounted his story. When he finishes, she stands up and spreads her arm as if requesting a hug. Just how sensitive is Carver? How the hell did he get off just being touched over her panties? His panties. Which is yet another thing I never thought I'd think.