Under Darkness [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"I'm aware," Aveline snaps back. "But I'm the only one here that can shrug it off and we can't just run off to find an acceptable target right this instant."

[Marian Hawke]

She gives a wordless snarl of rage, then lets fly at Aveline's chest with a punch. She knows she can't hurt the paladin, but that just makes her swing all the harder.

[Tethras Clan]

Aveline doesn't hit back, just deflects and absorbs the hits until Hawke runs out of temper and sags against the paladin. "I know, my love. I know." It doesn't matter what Merrill wrote, exactly. I know this pain. Gods above and below, I know this pain.

Seeing that the fight is over, Zevran moves to embrace Hawke as well. "We're here, Hawke. All of us. Merrill is safe with us again."

[Marian Hawke]

Hawke crumples against Aveline's chest, falling freely now. "Gods, gods," she whimpers. "Any god that can take this pain away from her, I'll convert. No questions asked. My love isn't enough, can't be enough." 

[Tethras Clan]

"It doesn't have to be," Zevran murmurs. "She has Varric and Anders, Silence and Seli. And Minerva, Raplin and... also us, if... less directly. It's getting better." It has to be.

[Marian Hawke]

"This is better?" She can barely force the words out, choking on them, as she holds the crumpled, longer letter up and waves it in his face. 

[Tethras Clan]

"I don't know what it says, Hawke," he points out gently.

Aveline sighs a little. "Hawke, it's... normal to have bad days or relapses when you're recovering from something like this. I say her a week or so ago and we actually talked for a while. I told you about this, remember? Two months ago and she'd have bolted after a meeped hello."

[Marian Hawke]

Hawke shakes her head. "I keep wanting to-- she has to be doing better than I am. She was doing better every time I spoke to her, every letter she wrote me was doing better than I was able to manage, every-- but she's not, she just lies better than I do."

[Tethras Clan]

"Merrill," Zevran says flatly. "Lies better than... anyone in our Clan? Aveline lies better than Merrill."

The paladin starts to protest but... "Hawke, she's not lying or hiding things. That's not Merrill's way. She just- Can- can I read the letter?"

[Marian Hawke]

"You don't understand," she whispers, vehemently. "I know that feeling. Nobody should have to know that feeling, least of all Merrill."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran takes a deep breath. "Well... tough," Zevran says simply. "She shouldn't have to, neither should you. But you do. So... we have to deal with it. And as for not understanding? Hawke, how do you think I feel? About both of you?"

[Marian Hawke]

Silently, angrily, she thrusts the letter in his face.

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran reads it over, taking a bit longer than Hawke. Takes a deep breath. "That... that sounds like a bad day, yes. But she recovered. Enough to finish the letter, to send it. And even still had the... reserve to ask whatever question she did," he says, voice creaky and raw. As he speaks, Aveline slips the letter from his and to read as well.

[Marian Hawke]

"There aren't enough things in the world to hit. I swear to you, if a Sceleratis of... of Keindrenas showed up right now and promised me he could make it so this never happened to Merrill, I'd swear oaths in a heartbeat."

[Tethras Clan]

"Hawke," Aveline snaps, eyes blazing. "You will not, even if I have to strike you down myself. You will not do that to Merrill, or us, or yourself. Do you understand me?"