Imprints in Stone [AU]

[Carver Amell]

It doesn't matter what he's about to say: Carver stills, the breath rushing out of him all at once. That by itself is enough to tell Beth all she needs to know.

[Bethany]

"In other words, a whole lot," Bethany says bitterly. "Gods, I really... maybe you were right. Maybe we do become the worst of our parents."

[Carver Amell]

He takes half a step back, thinking of Miki's uncle's moonshine, thinking of cutting his arm open, thinking of turning into a dire wolf, thinking of running as far and as fast as he can. 

'By proving you can become better than you were'

He takes a deep breath, forcing his feet to stay still. "Beth. That-- I can't-- I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I... I'll go, now, if you want. I need-- I want to go hurt myself some more, but I won't make you watch that."

[Bethany]

"No!" Bethany whirls around and almost lunges at him. Wrapping her arms around him, she glares up at him. "Absolutely not! I might be shit at it, but I refuse to stop caring about you."

[Carver Amell]

He says nothing for a heart-stopping moment; then, finally, he lets out a low whimper, and tears flood his eyes. "Beth," he sobs, clinging to her tightly.

[Bethany]

The pair just cry for a bit, holding tight to each other, for a good, long while. Finally, Bethany tugs him over to the bed so she can curl up against him. "...what can I do? What can I do for you to... to make it easy to talk to me again?" she asks in a pleading whisper.

[Carver Amell]

"I don't," he whimpers. "It's not like that. I-- it's not easy to talk to anyone. About anything. I just.. I just want... gods, Beth, I fucked everything up. Everything. Every relationship I have, all at once, I can't-- I don't deserve anyone to talk to. I don't deserve to be alive right now. I nearly wasn't. If Dad hadn't come looking when he did, I don't think I'd have made it."

[Bethany]

Bethany goes very still. "What? Made... you mean.. you'd have left? Left town? That's what you mean, r-right?"

[Carver Amell]

"I didn't mean to," he blurts instantly. 

[Bethany]

Beth clings even tighter to him. "It's okay, you're safe. It's okay, you're safe. It's okay, you're safe," she mutters, rocking back and forth a bit. "It's... okay. We're okay. What... what did... how?"

[Carver Amell]

"You uh. Did you.... did you know a man can die from drinking too much alcohol at once?" he asks, awkwardly. "So uh, I'm never drinking again."

[Bethany]

"I'll help you keep to that," Bethany says tersely, shuddering. Yes I do. And it's a painful way to die most of the time. Gods. At least... at least it really was just a mistake. He wouldn't try it that way if he...

[Carver Amell]

"Dad got to me in time," he says quietly. "And then he told me about Merrill and I-- I wished he hadn't. I'm a monster, Beth. I'm no good for anyone."

[Bethany]

"You blame yourself far too much, for far too many things," Bethany says tiredly. "You didn't make Merrill... do what she did. You were nasty to me too, but I didn't... do that."

[Carver Amell]

"I promised I'd take care of her," he whispers. "I promised we'd always be together. And I broke that promise, knowing what it'd do to her. Dad told me, if I try to help her, I can't ever ever leave her like that, and I..."