Imprints in Stone [AU]

[GamesMaster]

"Regardless, there is no better facility on the entire West Shore. You would have to go to Draslina to find better."

[Varric]

"Also wrong- there's SummerHill in Nyra," Varric corrects her. "Admittedly newer, but it has the backing of three Lights and soon to be a fourth." Doubt Adonis will put much more than his name behind it, nor will I expect him to, but he has to avoid the impression that he only cares about Cattown (and Beth will pout at him). Plus it gives him a tie to two other Lights, which he can sorely use right now. "The Doctor, Lord zi'Smith has devoted his life to understanding the mind and discovering ways to help those with mental illnesses, injuries and conditions."

[GamesMaster]

"It is brand new," she sniffs. "They reject most established techniques for the sake of novelty. Give it at least a decade to get established and remember why these techniques were invented."

[Varric]

"It's fairly old," he echoes. "They reject most new techniques for the sake of habit. Give it at most a decade of real competition and they'll realize they need to improve."

[GamesMaster]

"You would bet her life and health on unproven techniques?"

[Varric]

"You would let her life and health rot on unsuccessful techniques? Even if we fail, at least we tried. I won't take foolish risks, I won't throw away a possible success in the future for the sake of 'just doing something' in the present, but I won't simply let the past become the unchanging future either," Varric says gently. 

[GamesMaster]

"and when they don't work, you will let stubborn pride damage her further for the sake of refusing to accept what is. No. This is part of why we manage care -- to protect the patient from optimism such as yours."

[Varric]

"The same stubborn pride that you're clinging to? This desperate fear that nothing can help, so it's better to not even try? What's the point of that?" Shifting so he's focused entirely on the young woman in his arms, Varric turns his attention to her. "Are you happy? With how you are now, are you happy? Are you happy being scared all the time? Not being able to speak with your siblings? To hold them? Are you okay with life like this, always running, always falling apart? Or do you want more?"

[Marian Hawke]

"I want," she whispers. "I can't have."

[Varric]

"But isn't it worth trying?" Varric begs.

[Marian Hawke]

"It will hurt," she whispers, then glances at the nurse, who takes over for her:

"It will hurt. And it may leave her worse off. She's afraid of getting any worse, afraid of losing the gains she's already made. Afraid to disappoint you."

[Varric]

"If we lose ground, then we step back, reconsider our options and try again with a new tactic. Gods above Marian, you willingly gave yourself over to demons to save your siblings. That's... that's saint-like stuff. You could never disappoint me," he says roughly.

[Marian Hawke]

"If she was a saint she'd have died like she was meant to," says the nurse quietly. "she's a survivor, not a hero. And sometimes survival is less dignified."

[Varric]

"Okay, you can shut right the fuck up now," Varric says softly. "She paid more than her life, she paid with her peace of mind, her sanity, her body and her suffering. For months. Don't you even dare to imply that those weren't enough. Her surviving is not shameful, it's fucking fantastic. I wish she hadn't had to suffer as she did to survive but I will not be sad she's still here."

[Marian Hawke]

Both of them turn to stare at him with the same shocked expression on their faces. The exact same faces, for all the nurse is human and pale while Marian is nut-brown and merikos.