The Silver Queen [AU]

[Carver Amell]

He scowls. "Arm's broken, you can't use it. This is just hurt feelings toward dead people. I'll never get to... it doesn't matter anymore."

[Tethras Clan]

"Tch. Emotions are a part of you just as much as any limb," Zevran counters firmly. He frowns slightly. "Actually... I don't know specifics but... I have heard tell of spells, rituals, that can allow for brief conversations between the living and dead..."

[Carver Amell]

"No," he growls, turning his back to Zevran as he resumes his search in silence.

[Tethras Clan]

"Why?"

[Carver Amell]

"No." he growls again.

[Tethras Clan]

"That's not a reason, that's a word."

[Carver Amell]

He turns then, raising a fist, face twisted in anger, but he stops himself, his face falling, expression hurt and almost frightened for an instant as he turns his back to Zevran again. "No," he repeats, quietly.

[Tethras Clan]

"Carver... please trust me, just a little. I won't ask you to do it again but... tell me why?" Zevran asks softly.

[Carver Amell]

"It's... that's what Mother... that's what... I just can't. I know it's not the same, but it is the same."

[Tethras Clan]

"Ah," Zevran says, eyes closing for a moment. As he thinks, Hunter ambles over to his person and butts his head against Carver's stomach. "...what about... would you... want answers if you weren't... there?"

[Carver Amell]

"Answers wouldn't-- I'm not sure what answers would help," he says, after a moment wrestling with his feelings as he pets Hunter. "It doesn't matter why. They all left. Even... it wasn't Varric's fault he was dead, but even him. He went off to be with Marian in Astea's realm and I'm still struggling here."

[Tethras Clan]

"I... I have not ever told you about my father, have I?"

[Carver Amell]

"No." This one isn't so firm, isn't a denial -- more of an invitation.

[Tethras Clan]

"My mother was the drow- I have no memory of her really, she dumped me on my father's doorstep with naught but the bracelet he once gave her as explanation. He was widowed, his wife lost in childbirth. Only the one child, other than me, two years before. Evidently, he'd... lost himself in grief for a few months and was easy prey for mother dearest." Zevran sits heavily on the arm of the loveseat. "But he was a good father. A great father really. Frail in body but with a powerful heart. He died when I was fourteen. I... I had few friends in the village. Lovers, yes, but not friends. I was... skilled with my hands, eager to please and clever, so I was useful. But my father was all I had, really." He pauses, swallowing hard.

[Carver Amell]

"My father loved Marian, but he left when I was young," he replies softly. "Mother did her best to raise three kids alone, but we didn't make it easy. I protected Beth, and Marian did her best to mother us, and that was what I had. Then Beth died, and Mother lost some important bit of herself, and she never recovered. Marian left us, found Varric and never looked back. Mother wrote to Malcolm but he sent a little money for the funeral and that was all. I did my best to look after Mother, but earning the money we needed meant being away from home, and Gamlen didn't treat her right, so she got sicker and sicker. I thought.... I thought that grief group was a good start, but... then she was dead, Gamlen was in prison, Marian was dead, everyone was gone. Just me."