The Silver Queen [AU]

[Tethras Clan]

"Hush," Zevran says gently, the wariness in his eyes receding. "We can go slowly. We can be careful and take our time. Act in good faith, treat me with respect and honesty and nothing that comes of love will cost us our friendship."

[Carver Amell]

"But I'm Astean," he says quietly. "Isn't it forbidden?"

[Tethras Clan]

"Only if you think romantic love to be more important than familial love," Zevran replies slowly. "We are family, one way or another. Adding romance and sex to it..." He shrugs, glancing down to check on the sleeping woman next to him. "Love held is more important than love pursued, I would think."

[Carver Amell]

"We're... not quite family," he mumbles. "Or rather, we're family, but not a family. We don't have children. Me with you, we could never have children. I know Bela doesn't want any," he hastily adds. She's been clear enough on that. "But if I'm with you, I won't... there's a chance I'll meet someone. And kids are important, to both Astea and Ciren. This... arrangement, would be a lot less temporary if I'm with you both."

[Tethras Clan]

"There... are ways, for that to happen," Zevran says carefully. "I will say that I do not... wish a child of my blood. But if you wished, we could find someone willing to carry a child for you, then allow us to adopt it. I know that the Ciren temple in Draslina has some Joyous that do such, carrying children for those that cannot do so themselves. Or we could adopt. Though I do not think children are... required for being a family."

[Carver Amell]

"Life and love," he says softly. "Without life, it's just pleasure -- emotional and physical. Not that there's anything wrong with Ciren, just... that's not me."

[Tethras Clan]

"Is this not life? Us?" Zevran smiles crookedly. "But I... suppose I am not against the idea of children. Not... now, perhaps, but someday not too far away."

[Carver Amell]

"I.... I want kids. My own kids. And I.. look, I could recite to you all the ways this isn't Astean but... I don't know. It feels... wrong, somehow, being with a man. Being with you feels right but being with a man feels wrong. Ugh, I'm not making any sense! I just... I feel like I'm betraying Bethany's memory somehow and I can't figure out why."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran stares at him, slightly baffled. "I... have no idea? Would... perhaps we should make our way to Draslina? They have healers there, which... would not go amiss. I have heard of a sect known, rather aptly, as Healers of the Mind that could perhaps..." He smiles weakly. "Well. But perhaps you could seek counsel in regards to your concerns?"

[Carver Amell]

He tenses, turning back toward the door. "No. That won't be necessary."

[Tethras Clan]

"Carver..?" Zevran asks uncertainly, unsure what set Carver off.

[Carver Amell]

"There's nothing wrong with my mind. I just.... this is just confusing."

[Tethras Clan]

"I... didn't say anything about your mind?" Zevran says slowly. 

[Carver Amell]

"No, you just want to send me to mind-healers," he says bitterly. 

[Tethras Clan]

"...Coquette and Isabela," Zevran says, staring at Carver in disbelief. "Because they were raped and tortured. It would not be unwise for myself to speak with someone for coming to terms with... the last year or so, for that matter." Or yourself, for both grief and... other things.