The Silver Queen [AU]

[Carver Amell]

"'sfine," he mumbles, closing his eyes as he sits back against the booth. 

I should ask about the newcomers. Tavern waitress is a great place to find information. I should....

But he can't make himself care about Raplin's Oak right now. He feels empty, deflated, after the panic's left him. 

[Tethras Clan]

Moving slowly, allowing Carver to notice and refuse, Zevran slips an around Carver's shoulders. "Talk to me, mon bouclier?" he whispers.

[Carver Amell]

"I didn't expect Dau," he mutters, leaning his head against Zevran's shoulder. "I forgot. I was here before, but I forgot. Dau reminded me. I-- it wasn't a pleasant trip. I was real little, maybe six or seven."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran nods slowly. "I... imagine it was not for a simple family vacation?"

[Carver Amell]

"No," he says, softly. "If I... promise me it won't change anything? You'll still think of me the same?"

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran pauses a moment. "Does this..." Stopping, he shakes his head a little. "You know me well enough now to know the things that would hurt me, anger me. You would not ask if it was one of them. So yes, I can promise I shall not hate you nor pity you. I might feel sympathy or anger on your behalf, but..."

[Carver Amell]

"I... it..."

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as though bracing for a blow. "My body. Dau made my body. The... the one I was born into was... wrong. Dau fixed it, shaped it correctly. I mostly never think about it, I just, I pretend I've always looked like this. But it wasn't... I was born wrong."

[Tethras Clan]

Born... wrong? Like a mishapen limb? But it would not take a demigodde- err, demigod to fix that sort of thing... Well, not unless it was truly bad. But that still would not have him so... off balance. "The gods, however grand they are, are imperfect. Ah, you don't have to mention I said that to Helene, if you would. But I have heard of cases were a shell was... ill made. Needing help to fix that is not shameful."

[Carver Amell]

"It wasn't... I guess it was... fine. But it wasn't mine. This shell is mine. If that makes sense." He hesitates, then adds more gently, "I think Helene would, uh, understand that sort of thing. Intuitively."

[Tethras Clan]

Zevran's brow wrinkles, then he lets out a soft 'ah' of understanding. "It does not matter," he promises to Carver. "You are you. I have never really... fixated on a persons form as something of import," he admits. "Every form has its beauty, but it's hollow unless the person in it is worthwhile. You, Carver Hawke, would give worth to an orge's form." 

[Carver Amell]

"Heh," he chuckles. "Tell that to my father." He doesn't elaborate, sighing gently as he turns his face more toward Zevran. "Thank you."

[Tethras Clan]

"...you know, I could, if you wished. Throw your virtues, your victories and successes, in Malcolm's face. Along with my fist," the merikos drow offers softly.

[Carver Amell]

"You find him and I'll punch him myself," says Carver, a dour look crossing his face. "He really stopped coming around after that trip. I... always assumed it was because we were so human, and being with me, spending that time together, reminded him too much. Mother seemed to agree."

[Tethras Clan]

A shadow fills Zevran's eyes and his expression hardens for a second. "Some people are simply... ill-suited for parenthood."

[Carver Amell]

"Sorry," he says quietly, feeling the tension. "I'm sure you heard this all from Marian already."