The Amell Legacy: Transgressions

[Haliel Lightsong]

Knocking on the door to their shared room gets a pause, then a slightly thick, "y-yes? Do you need me to stand guard Mister Teegan?"

[Marian Hawke]

"Hey, it's me, I need to ask you a really weird question?" calls Marian, through the door.

[Haliel Lightsong]

Another, longer pause, then a flurry of movement. Finally, "of c-course. Come in."

[Marian Hawke]

Right. Not going to make this easy. She pushes the door open, a big, fake, casual smile on her face. 

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel is tucking something away- another of her paintings, evidently. She's getting better, though that might be at least in part because she's doing the same type of painting over and over. Specifically, portraits of her old teachers. She normally leaves her current project out though... Turning her face to the side, she rubs at her face. "What- what did you need?" the aasimar asks in poorly forced cheer.

[Zevran]

Instead of following, Zevran leans against the wall outside, able to listen but not be seen.

[Marian Hawke]

"Ye-ah, so, this is, um, kind of a dumb question, because I'm sure the answer is no, but, just out of curiosity..."

Out of curiosity, what? 'Are you hiding in here crying over me'? 'Did I break your heart?' Get a grip! Nobody's ever going to love you like that. She's probably so embarrassed she ever liked you at all.

"Does it ever... bother you that we didn't work out so well?" she finds herself asking, instead.

[Haliel Lightsong]

Haliel stiffens sharply, eyes snapping up to look at Marian. For that moment, her attempts at keeping her emotions hidden fail completely. The redness and puffy skin around her eyes could be from lack of sleep, then waness of her face the result of having to adjust to eating food regularly thanks to being underground. But the heartbreak and regret in her eyes... Still, she manages to force herself to nod slightly before having to turn away. Haliel reaches out to brace herself against the window, back to Marian as she struggles to center herself. 

[Marian Hawke]

Marian takes a step back, then another, her stomach tying itself in knots. "You're-- me? This is about... me? I-- I thought-- I thought you just--"

Her voice grows smaller and smaller as she talks, as she realizes the mistake she's made. 

[Haliel Lightsong]

"Yes M-" She can't force it out, can't call Marian 'Miss' after everything. Can't call her that either. And certainly not... "Yes, Mary," she finally uses. "I am... often bothered by us not... working out so well." That last part has a hint of bitterness atop the pain.

[Marian Hawke]

"You..."

She swallows, then again. "You-- you pulled back from m-me," she stammers, rubbing at her eyes, hating -- hating -- that she's crying yet again. "I just wanted to be friends! You're the one who-- who-- why does it have to be all or nothing, why is it I let you die for me or I break your h-heart?!"

[Haliel Lightsong]

"Because I can't stop loving you just because you prize sex more than me," Haliel fires back, voice thick with tears. "I would have tried! I would have gladly let you seek out others, would have learned everything I could possibly learn to please you! I begged Captain Isabela and Daughter Maeve for lessons! But you never gave me a chance to- to- to even try!"

[Marian Hawke]

"Th-this isn't about sex! It's not!" she shouts, breaking into a sob at the end. 

[Haliel Lightsong]

"Then why?" Haliel asks, turning back to face Marian. "Why did you- why won't you-"

[Marian Hawke]

"Because I-- because I died for you, Haliel! And you turned around and offered to die for me! I can't handle that! What am I meant to do with that?! How do I love someone and not fuck up so badly we both end up dead?! I don't know! I've never been loved my whole life, how am I supposed to figure all this out!"